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ADHD Coaching for Career Success
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ADHD Coaching for Career Success

ADHD Coaching for Career Success

As an ADHD coach working with professionals across California (yes from Silicon Valley startup scrambles to quieter suburban teams), I’ve seen how ADHD career coaching can turn chronic overwhelm into steady career momentum. I remember a client let’s call her Maya who showed up to our first session juggling three half-done projects, an overflowing inbox, and the sinking feeling that she was “failing at work.” (Wait no, that’s not quite right… she wasn’t failing; systems were failing her.) Over months we rebuilt a bite-sized planning system, practiced focus windows, and retrained how she talked about her day. The change wasn’t magic; it was deliberate, practical work.

Adults with ADHD are statistically more likely to face unemployment or underemployment and to report barriers at work, which is why targeted coaching matters. ResearchGate At the same time, the research is shifting: ADHD often comes with paradoxical career strengths intense creativity, pattern-spotting, energy for high-stakes problem solving strengths that coaching can help harness. And the practical toolbox coaches use focused time systems, environmental tweaks, and habit-building strategies isn’t guesswork; it’s grounded in career-focused ADHD research and clinical guidance.

If you’ve tried generic productivity advice and it didn’t stick, you’re not alone. That’s precisely why neurodivergent-aware programs and career coaches exist they adapt methods to how your brain actually works, not some one-size-fits-all checklist. (Think of it like custom tailoring instead of grabbing an off-the-rack suit.) You can find examples of tailored career coaching offerings and frameworks from experienced practitioners and organizations doing this work.

What this article will do for you (quick preview so you can decide whether to read the whole thing or skim to your problem):

  • Define the core career barriers people with ADHD face and why traditional advice often misses the mark.
  • Give step-by-step, coach-tested strategies you can implement this week (time management, focus systems, communication scripts).
  • Share anonymized client stories and measurable ways to track progress so you can see what “career success” actually looks like.

(If you like checklists and examples you’re in the right place. If you prefer deep-dive theory first hang tight; we’ll get there.)

Problem Identification: Why ADHD Adults Struggle in Careers

Here’s the thing: ADHD at work isn’t just about being “distracted” or “forgetful.” That oversimplification misses the real weight of what’s happening day after day in a career setting. When clients first come to me, they often describe a swirl of missed deadlines, tense performance reviews, and this constant undertow of self-doubt. And yet (and I can’t stress this enough) what looks like “carelessness” from the outside is usually a gap in executive function support, not motivation or intelligence.

Based on both research and years of coaching, here are the 10 most common career challenges for adults with ADHD each one pulling at professional growth in different ways.

  1. Time Management & Planning
  • Challenge: Many ADHD professionals struggle with tracking deadlines, setting realistic timelines, or breaking projects down into doable steps.
  • Why it matters: Career advancement is often measured by reliability. Without solid time systems, talented professionals can look inconsistent.
  • Example: A client (we’ll call him Alex) constantly underestimated how long reports would take. By integrating calendar blocking and pre-deadline “checkpoints,” his stress dropped and his manager noticed the change.
  1. Focus and Distraction
  • Challenge: Open plan offices, ongoing Slack notifications, and multitasking, or as we like to call it, distraction olympics. ADHD brains light up in these situations (and not in a good way).
  • Why this matters: Sustained attention is mandatory in roles that require deep work.
  • Example: Maya (the same client I mentioned previously) learned to schedule 90-minute “focus sprints” with noise cancelling headphones and shortively communicated “do not disturb” signals. Her productivity doubled in less than 3 weeks.
  1. Organization & Task Management
  • Challenge: From figuring out how to organize digital files to managing multi-step tasks, staying organized feels like holding water in your hands.
  • Why this matters: Being disorganized creates bottlenecks in work flow that can delay an entire team.
  • Example: A former client shared, “My desk is like my brain is a mess, chaotic, and hard to navigate.” Using structured workflows of digital files and a daily review of tasks, he began to rebuild his confidence.
  1. Procrastination
  • Challenge: Not laziness – difficulty with initiating a task. Getting started can feel like standing at the base of a mountain, without having hiking boots on.
  • Why this matters: Getting behind on deadlines and “rushed last time brilliance” can only work for so long before your reputation suffers.
  • Example: By setting micro-goals of “just write the title first,” one client was able to move from last minute panicked evenings to consistent dependable delivery.
  1. Communication & Interpersonal Skills
  • Challenge: Misreading cues, overtalking in meetings, or struggling with conflict resolution.
  • Why it matters: Career growth isn’t only about technical ability; it’s also about relational capital.
  • Example: Role-playing helped one client practice how to “pause before responding.” The result? Fewer conflicts and more respect in team settings.
  1. Confidence & Self-Esteem
  • Challenge: After hearing “try harder” for years, it has an impact. Many adults with ADHD carry deep, quiet wounds from their school experience or earlier jobs.
  • Why it is important: Low confidence leads to self-sabotage; avoiding promotions, undervaluing skills and/or not applying for a stretch role.
  • Example: I once coached a client who whispered to me, “I don’t think I am cut out for leadership.” Using reframing to see the types of strengths of her ADHD, like being a fast decision maker under pressure, eventually led to her unfolding into a team lead role.
  1. Career Transitions & Finding the Right Path
  • Challenge: Knowing a career path that demonstrates strengths or in general how to approach a career transition without falling into doubt.
  • Why is it important: Many adults with ADHD feel trapped in an income generator role that wounds or zeers their energy, instead of working in ways that energize them.
  • Example: Through strength-based career mapping, one client was able to pivot from accounting (which felt suffocating to her) to a UX design focus (which felt energizing to her).
  1. Workplace Accommodations
  • Challenge: Many individuals do not know if/who/how to request accommodations, and what their rights may include.
  • Why is it important: Quiet spaces, flexible deadlines or even remote work options can render options we did not believe we had.
  • Example: Working with a client around the language that would be helpful when requesting flexible working hours expanded her work-life balance by leaps and bounds.
  1. Stress & Anxiety Management
  • Challenges: Stress and anxiety often co-exist with ADHD especially in fast-paced environments.
  • Why does it matter: High levels of stress exacerbate ADHD symptoms thereby creating a domino effect.
  • Example: One of the engineers I worked with began taking mindfulness mini-breaks prior to his presentations, and both his nerves and ADHD symptoms were less aggravated.
  1. Building Sustainable Habits
  • Challenges: It is not the “picking up habits” that is the problem it is “keeping habits”. ADHD brains want novelty and throw off adherence.
  • Why does it matter: Success in a professional setting is developmental and happens over time. It’s not about a week of good work or a change in behavior; it is about showing up on a consistent basis over months and years.
  • Example: A client developed a “habit buddy” set-up with a colleague, where they checked in and practiced accountability in a weekly telephone conversation over time, the habit stuck.

Practical ADHD Career Coaching Solutions

Alright so now that we’ve laid out the biggest hurdles, let’s talk solutions. Because honestly, that’s the best part of this work: watching someone shift from “I’ll never get this right” to “Hey, this system actually works for me.” And here’s the thing (I tell every client this on day one): you don’t need a perfect system you need a system that sticks. ADHD coaching isn’t about imposing rigid rules; it’s about designing tools that flex with your brain.

Below, I’ll walk through step-by-step ADHD workplace strategies I use with clients. These are drawn from both research (Nadeau, Samosh, Crook & McDowall) and the lived coaching experiences we’ve already talked about.

  1. Time Management & Planning Systems
  • Strategy:
    • Use calendar blocking for high-priority tasks.
    • Break big projects into “micro-milestones.”
    • Add a “buffer block” before deadlines to reduce last-minute panic.
  • Client Story: Alex, the one with constant late reports, started planning backward from deadlines instead of forward. That one tweak flipped his on-time delivery rate from 40% to 90%.
  • Tool Tip: Digital tools like Google Calendar + color coding can help, but some clients do better with paper planners they can touch. (Seriously, don’t underestimate a bold Sharpie on a wall calendar.)
  1. Focus & Distraction Solutions
  • Strategy:
    • Pomodoro technique (25 minutes focused, 5 minutes off)
    • Noise-cancelling headphones or friendly workspaces for people with ADHD
    • task batching (do all emails at once or all paperwork at once for example, instead of doing it scattered throughout the day).
  • Client Story: The “focus sprints” of 90 minutes completely changed different client’s workday – not just productive, but their energy.
  • Tool Tip: Applications such as Forest or Focus Booster help gamified focus time which can be motivating for a brain with ADHD
  1. Organization & Task Management
  • Strategy:
    • One single “master task list” not five sticky notes scattered all over the place.
    • Visual system (Kanban board, trello, or whiteboards) to see ALL tasks visual in one space.
    • Daily “reset ritual”: a 10-minute time block at the end of your work day to clear work space and plan for next day.
  • Client Story: One of my clients painfully said “My brain is like 37 browser tabs open.” A “project dashboard” tool that stored all of their tasks in one place gave him approaching zero stress.
  • Tool Tip: Trello, Asana, Notion are nice to have, but for some, just displaying a whiteboard to the side of your desk was an enough.
  1. Beating Procrastination
  • Strategy:
    • The “2-Minute Rule” (if it takes under 2 minutes, do it now).
    • Start with micro-goals: instead of “write the report,” start with “write the title.”
    • Pair unpleasant tasks with rewards (coffee, music, movement).
  • Client Story: A marketing professional I worked with set a rule: “No checking email until I’ve done the first micro-task of the day.” That broke her 2-hour morning delay habit.
  • Tool Tip: Habitica turns tasks into a role-playing game (yes, quests and rewards). Perfect for ADHD motivation.
  1. Communication & Interpersonal Skills
  • Strategy:
    • Practice “pause before reply” in meetings.
    • Use scripts for difficult conversations.
    • Role-play conflict resolution with coach or mentor.
  • Client Story: A client prone to interrupting started taking 3 deep breaths before speaking. Colleagues noticed immediately meetings became smoother.
  • Tool Tip: Recording yourself in practice conversations can help pinpoint patterns you didn’t notice.
  1. Confidence & Self-Esteem Building
  • Strategy:
    • Strength inventory (list ADHD “superpowers”: creativity, problem-solving, high energy).
    • Reframe setbacks as “feedback, not failure.”
    • Celebrate micro-successes on a weekly basis.
  • Client Story: So the client who did not think she had leadership abilities? She started a “wins journal.” After three months, she had a whole binder of wins, successes that she would have normally forgotten. And that confidence brought into her promotion interview.
  • Tool Tip: Apps, like Daylio or even a voice memo, are quick ways to check-in with oneself.
  1. Career Transitions & Pathfinding
  • Strategy:
    • Map strength(s) → interest(s) → workplace values (three-circle model)
    • Test out the role through job shadowing or a side project.
    • Attend coaching to prep for interviews using ADHD tools (e.g., bullet-point notes instead of complicated scripts).
  • Client Story: The accountant who became a UX designer? Her direction came from delightfully exploring the moments in her work where she was in a “flow state” — times when the hours passed without other struggle.
  • Tool Tip: Career assessments – StrengthsFinder, RIASEC, and so on help you clarify direction (you are always filtered through the lens of ADHD coaching).
  1. Workplace Accommodations
  • Strategy:
    • Familiarize yourself with U.S. ADA rights (especially in California).
    • Craft some scripts to ask for quiet spaces, deadline flexibility, or even a hybrid schedule.
    • When asking, frame it as a productivity enhancer for the company, rather than a personal request.
  • Client Story: One client requested noise-canceling headphones and her request was approved right away once she described it as helping her “deliver higher quality work.”
  • Tool Tip: CHADD.org offers resources on workplace accommodations.
  1. Stress & Anxiety Management
  • Strategy:
    • Build micro-breaks into the calendar (move, hydrate, breathe.
    • Use a mindfulness app (i.e. Headspace, Calm), but keep it under 3 minutes.
    • Energy management: utilize your hardest work/tasks when you are at peak times of focus.
  • Client Story: The engineer who hated presentations now opens with a mindfulness check-in (2 minutes), & her anxiety decreased- performance increased!
  • Tool Tip: “Box breathing” technique (Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4). You can do this even in a meeting.
  1. Building Sustainable Habits
  • Strategy:
    • Pair new habits with existing routines (habit stacking).
    • Use accountability partners or “habit buddies.”
    • Track progress weekly instead of daily (reduces guilt when you miss a day).
  • Client Story: My client with the “habit buddy” system kept it going long enough that the habits became second nature.
  • Tool Tip: Streaks or Loop Habit Tracker apps work well for ADHD-friendly habit tracking.

Implementation Stories: ADHD Coaching in Action

This is where the real stuff happens. Strategies sound nice when outlined on paper, facing the real question of if and how the strategies will show up in our day-to-day work environment. Through my experience of coaching adults with ADHD, I’ve realized how people retain stories people remember stories far more than vague markers of advice. As a result, I want to share the anonymized stories (details changed for anonymity) of clients and their moments when the tools and strategies we work on came to life in the real world.

Story 1: From Constantly Late → Consistently On-Time

Client Profile: Alex, 30-something male, project manager at a technology firm.

The Challenge: Alex was always running late to meetings, and was always missing deadlines which created a feeling of “unreliable.”

Coaching Shift: We created a reverse-planning framework, wherein we would look at the deadline, and reverse plan the project and add some buffer time to the reverse plan.

The Result: After 3 months of using this tool, he shifted from an on-time completion rate of around 40% to 90%. His manager even commented, “I don’t know what you did, but keep doing it.”

Story 2: The Overwhelmed Email Inbox

Client Profile: Maya, marketing coordinator.

The Challenge: 700+ unread emails, putting it off, spiraling into the, “I’ll deal with this later” mindset.

Coaching Shift: Introduced batching (30 minutes, twice a day) + “2-minute rule” (handle quick replies on the spot).

The Result: Inbox zero once per week, but maybe more importantly, Maya reported sleeping better because she wasn’t being haunted by her inbox.

Story 3: The Interrupted Leader

Client Profile: Jordan, a senior engineer who leads a small team.

The Challenge: Constant interruptions in meetings colleagues perceived this to be impatience.

Coaching Shift: We practiced a “3-breath pause” before he spoke and added use of a notepad to jot down thoughts instead of interrupting to blurt them out.

The Result: Feedback from his director, “You’re leading the meetings with more confidence and calmness a huge improvement.”

Story 4: The Stuck Career Pivot

Client Profile: Lila, accountant considering UX design.

The Challenge: Felt trapped hated spreadsheets, but scared to leap.

Coaching Shift: We identified her “flow activities,” tested with a design bootcamp project, and used coaching to build transition steps.

The Result: Within 8 months, she landed a junior UX role. Her words: “For the first time, work doesn’t feel like punishment.”

Story 5: The “Always Behind” Manager

Client Profile: Sam, retail operations manager.

The Challenge: Constant backlog, felt like “everyone else is faster.”

Coaching Shift: Introduced end-of-day reset ritual + weekly planning meeting with himself.

The Result: He started each week clear-headed instead of already behind. Stress dropped; team morale improved too.

Why These Stories Matter:
  • They show that ADHD coaching is not one-size-fits-all.
  • Each system was custom-fit to the client’s brain and environment.
  • Small, repeatable actions (like a breathing pause or planning ritual) often created the biggest impact.
Call to Action: Your Next Step Toward ADHD Career Success

If you’ve read this far, chances are you’re already thinking: “This sounds like me… maybe coaching could actually help.” And if that thought is in your mind right now don’t brush it aside. That’s the exact moment when change can begin.

At Heal&Thrive, ADHD career coaching isn’t about fixing you because you’re not broken. It’s about giving your brain the systems, strategies, and support it needs to thrive in your career. Whether you’re looking to climb the ladder, switch into a role that finally fits, or simply feel less overwhelmed at work you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Here’s what you can do today:

  • Book a Coaching Session

Take the first step and schedule a session with one of our ADHD-informed career coaches at Heal&Thrive In just one call, you’ll leave with clarity on your next career step.

  • Download the Free Guide

We’ve put together a resource full of ADHD-friendly workplace strategies time management hacks, focus tools, and communication scripts. Grab it now from Heal&Thrive and start experimenting today.

  • Connect with Our Team

Not ready to dive in yet? That’s okay. Reach out to our support team at Heal&Thrive and ask questions. Sometimes, the first move is simply starting a conversation.

  • Contact our coaches at Heal&Thrive
  • Download your ADHD Career Success Guide
  • Book your session now

Don’t wait for the “perfect moment.” Career success with ADHD doesn’t come from waiting it comes from action, even if it’s small. Let’s build the systems that match your brain and unlock the career you deserve.

What is the burnout cycle of ADHD?
By admin 0 Comments adhd, adhd coach, adhd coach near me, adhd coach service, adhd coaching, Blog

What is the burnout cycle of ADHD?

What is the burnout cycle of ADHD?

Have you ever been in that place where you’ve been running at full speed trying to meet deadlines, keep up with family, study, work, and somehow also be the “perfect” friend or partner and suddenly… boom. You hit a wall. Not just physically tired, but mentally, emotionally, socially drained. That, my friend, is the messy, exhausting world of the ADHD burnout cycle.

ADHD burnout isn’t just about being tired. Nope scratch that… it’s a cumulative exhaustion that seeps into every corner of your life: focus, organization, mood, motivation you name it. You might notice early signs like constant fatigue, irritability, trouble prioritizing tasks, or that nagging feeling that no matter what you do, it’s never enough.

Funny thing is, ADHD gives you this hyperfocus “superpower.” And yes, it’s amazing… until it’s not. Until the superpower turns into overdrive, and suddenly, everything crashes. Deadlines, responsibilities, social expectations they all pile up, and your energy? Gone. Motivation? Vanished. And recovery… well, that feels like trying to refill a cup with a hole in it.

Understanding the ADHD burnout cycle is not just academic it’s practical. Knowing where the cycle starts, what triggers it, and how to recognize it can save you weeks, months, even years of unnecessary struggle. And hey, if you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean.

Why Does ADHD Burnout Happen?

Here’s the thing: ADHD burnout doesn’t happen magically. It doesn’t just show up suddenly one day. It doesn’t happen overnight.It’s a slow, sneaky process that typically builds up over weeks, months, or sometimes longer, stealthily feasting on the fruits of stress, overcommitment, and those benign-seeming habits that turn problematic…

Some of the most common triggers include:

  1. Overcommitment and Perfectionism

We say yes to every work opportunity, we take on every social invitation, we accept every family responsibility – and we want to do it all perfectly! Does any of this sound familiar? Perfect recipe for classic ADHD burnout.

  1. Poor Time Management and Lack of Boundaries

Getting distracted and losing track of time, or underestimating how long things take, or allowing everyone else to dictate our schedule. Exhausted just thinking about it!

  1. Chronic Physical and Mental Exhaustion

Sometimes hyperfocus is a gift, and other times, not so much. We’ve all sat down and not realized just how long we have sat there, until we hit the wall of fatigue and starvation from skipping meals, and ignoring sleep to run on empty for days on end. In time, your brain and body simply give in.

  1. Emotional Dysregulation and Irritability

Everything feels huge, when we are faced with the slightest setback. An interruption to our well-laid plans triggers all-consuming frustration. Everything feels heavier than it should be.

  1. Executive Dysfunction

Planning, organizing, prioritizing, remembering deadlines, or even beginning tasks seem impossible. In these circumstances, when executive functioning is compromised, burnout can really kick into high gear.

  1. Masking Symptoms and Social Strain

Constantly trying to hide ADHD struggles to fit in socially or professionally drains energy fast. It’s like wearing a heavy coat in the middle of summer.

  1. Misdiagnosis or Confusion with Depression

ADHD burnout can mimic depression. Feeling misunderstood or misdiagnosed adds another layer of frustration and hopelessness.

  1. Recovery Barriers

Even when you know you need rest, ADHD traits like impulsivity or hyperfocus can make it hard to step back, rest, or reset, keeping you trapped in the cycle.

Real Client Examples & Practical Solutions for ADHD Burnout

recall a client–let’s say “Sarah” for now–who came to me a shell of a person. Sarah was running 2 jobs, attending night classes and socializing like it was 1999. I could see how capable Sarah was and yet she was always left feeling like a failure. Early signs of ADHD burnout were apparent in her chronic fatigue, irritability, and most of all, the nagging feeling of ”I’m never doing enough”.

Step 1: Identify Your Triggers

The first thing Sarah conquered was recognizing her burnout triggers. We laid out her week to show her where her energy was being drained by over-committing, hyper-focus or not having boundaries.

Step 2: Set Realistic Boundaries

Sarah learned to say “no” and set limitations around her schedule. She learned the time for blocking time off to rest wasn’t selfish, it was necessary. To ADHDers, boundaries are the guardrails; burnout happens when they are removed.

Step 3: Implement Practical Strategies

We began to introduce a few ADHD-friendly tools and habits:

  • Time-blocking – scheduling tasks in weeks or hours at a time.
  • Checklists – visualizing prioritizing tasks.
  • Mindful breaks – short intervals to reset energy.
  • External reminders – using apps or alarms to meet deadlines

Step 4: Recover and Reflect

Sarah started noticing subtle improvements: less irritability, more energy, and a sense that she could handle life without constantly burning out. Recovery isn’t linear it’s a series of small wins that add up over time.

Common ADHD Burnout Challenges & How to Fix Them

Even when you know the cycle, life with ADHD can throw curveballs that knock you off balance. Let’s walk through the most common challenges and what actually works to fix them.

  1. Overcommitment & Perfectionism

The Problem: If you’re saying yes to everything, or expect perfection of yourself, it can become exhausting very quickly.

Fix: Prioritize your tasks. Ask yourself the question: “Does this even matter right now?” and get into the habit of saying the word “no” without guilt. Develop a time block strategy for your schedule. This will help protect your energy.

  1. Poor Time Management & Executive Dysfunction

The Problem: Losing track of deadlines, forgetting about tasks, or getting stuck trying to start a project.

Fix: Use ADHD-friendly tools that aid your memory such as visual checklists, alarms, and digital planners. Breaking tasks into smaller, sa manageable bits. Celebrate what you perceive as small wins to keep you motivated.

  1. Emotional Dysregulation & Irritability

The Problem: Getting irritated or upset by minor frustrations.

Fix: Use mindfulness techniques, journaling, or short breathing exercises to stay calm. Recognize your emotions early, before they spiral out of control.

  1. Masking ADHD Symptoms

The Problem: Constantly hiding ADHD struggles socially or professionally.

Fix: Reduce masking by being honest with trusted people. Use self-advocacy to set realistic expectations and conserve energy.

  1. Chronic Fatigue & Recovery Barriers

The Problem: Similarly, rest isn’t always restorative for a variety of reasons – namely the nature of ADHD.

Fix: The first step is to proactively plan your recovery time. This can include scheduled sleep, nutrition, movement, and/or leisure. Tracking your energy patterns can also help you to recovery.

Success Metrics: How to Know You’re Breaking the ADHD Burnout Cycle

Recovery from ADHD burnout will not feel like a miracle swipe of the sleep wand. There is no magic moment when everything feels back to where it should be. Recovery is a slow process; the evolution of success will often be subtle, and qualitatively meaningful in your day-to-day experience.

Key Indicators of Progress:

  1. Increased Energy Levels

You have fewer 100% drained days now, and even the smallest number of tasks don’t feel impossible.

  1. Better Emotional Regulation

Challenging moments in your day will no longer cause an extreme sense of frustration, instead, you respond introspectively and with intention rather than react in the moment.                   

  1. Consistent Task Completion

Tasks are completed more reliably, even if slowly. Checklists, time-blocking, and reminders start to make a real difference.

  1. Reduced Feelings of Overwhelm

The experience of too much happening is fading. Ability to think and plan all day without a sense of panic.

  1. Healthier Boundaries & Self-Care Habits

“NO” feels normal. Self-care routines become regular sleep, eating, self-care and mindfulness.

  1. Improved Focus and Executive Function

Prioritization, planning, completing tasks feel easier. Hyperfocus is balanced with recovery.

 If you’re feeling completely drained, mentally foggy, and even the smallest tasks feel overwhelming, you might be caught in the ADHD burnout cycle. At Heal and Thrive, we understand just how exhausting this experience can be.

What Makes Us Different?

At Heal and Thrive, we specialize in helping people:

  • Manage ADHD symptoms
  • Recover from work and life burnout
  • Regulate emotions and reduce anxiety
  • Improve executive functioning and self-regulation
  • Boost self-esteem and interpersonal relationships

Using evidence-based strategies, we help you break the burnout cycle and regain a life full of energy, focus, and motivation.

Ready to Take the First Step?

Here’s how you can start today:

  • Book a Consultation: Talk with our ADHD and burnout specialists and get a personalized recovery plan.
  • Download the Free ADHD Burnout Guide: Learn actionable strategies to recognize early signs, manage your energy, and prevent future burnout.
  • Join Our Support Network: Connect with others who share similar experiences in a safe, understanding environment and benefit from group support.

Why Wait?

ADHD burnout is real, but with the right understanding and support, you can break free. At Heal and Thrive, we are here to guide you every step of the way toward recovery.

Start today by booking a consultation.

How many hours should an ADHD person sleep?
By admin 0 Comments Blog, adhd, adhd coach, adhd coach near me, adhd coach service, adhd coaching

How many hours should an ADHD person sleep?

How many hours should an ADHD person sleep?

I’ll be honest, when clients first ask me “How many hours should an ADHD person sleep?” I usually smile and say, “Well, let me tell you what actually happens at 11:30 p.m. in most ADHD households…” Because if you live with ADHD (or you parent a child who does), you already know it’s rarely just about a number. It’s about the racing mind, the “one more YouTube video” spiral, the hyperfocus that sneaks in at the worst possible hour, and the endless frustration of being tired but wired.

I can still picture that late-night Zoom call with Maya, a college student I’ve coached for a while. “I know I should go to bed,” she said, rubbing her eyes, “but at night my brain finally wakes up.” That’s the crux, really. For many kids and adults with ADHD, the evening becomes a magnet for thoughts, projects, and fluorescent rabbit holes. Bedtime stretches, sleep becomes irregular, and the alarm rings while everything feels heavy and gray.

Here’s the silver lining, though: sleep is still on the table. We’re not hunting for a miracle that “cures” ADHD; we’re charting the tug-of-war between hyperactive brains and a sleepy world, and we’re letting curiosity lead. That’s the mission of this article.

We’ll nail the science-backed number of sleep hours your brain craves, tease apart why the quality of that sleep is worth as much as the clock hands, and, most importantly, build a morning-activity to sunset-action plan that actually fits real, chaotic lives. Whether you’re the parent working through a bedtime horror show or the adult who’s pushed off consistent sleep for months, what’s coming is hands-on, not theoretical. My hope is that the tips feel doable tonight.

Because sleep is not a perk; it’s the steering wheel for calmer ADHD days, sharper attention, and the kind of energy that feels like core-strength, not an expensive snack. Let’s get to it.

Why Sleep Matters So Much in ADHD

Ever had a morning where the alarm feels like a taunt, the coffee goes down like a prescription, and your thoughts not so much swim as float belly-up? That’s what staving off good sleep usually brings, and when you slide ADHD on top, the toll goes exponential.

For folks with the disorder, missing Z’s isn’t just an inconvenience; the very traits you work so hard to finesse, lack of focus, hasty choices, mood swings, the endless executive function logjam, become amplified. Research backs it: nearly three-quarters of the ADHD community wrestle with sleep problems.

That’s not background noise; it’s the drum we marched to. Rest lays the plumbing for steadiness, for mood that stays in the same county, for the brain deciding, at the right time, to archive files rather than impulse-emoji. Drag down the rest, and managing ADHD feels like bailing the Titanic with a coffee cup.

I’ve watched it too often in coaching: a brilliant plan, a well-structured routine, and then a single week of shaky sleep. Suddenly deadlines disappear into the mist, tasks bounce like forgotten laundry, and emotions flare like a stove left on high. It’s the disorder’s volume abused in one cut: the missed rest turns the dial to eleven and amplifies the portion of you that says “why wait’’ to runaway consequences crime.

The ADHD–Sleep Feedback Loop

Here’s the tricky part: sleep and ADHD feed into each other in a vicious cycle:

  1. ADHD makes it harder to fall and stay asleep.

Racing thoughts, hyperfocus, or nighttime anxiety keep the brain alert when it should be shutting down.

  1. Poor sleep makes ADHD symptoms worse.

Inattention feels heavier, emotional swings sharper, and the brain fog thicker.

  1. Worsened symptoms make it even harder to sleep.

Cue frustration, late-night scrolling, or reliance on stimulants/energy drinks.

This is what I often call the “ADHD Sleep Burnout Triangle” (a phrase that stuck with me after I first read about it in research). Lack of sleep → worsening ADHD symptoms → burnout and emotional dysregulation → more trouble sleeping.

Why Quality Matters as Much as Quantity

One more thing a lot of individuals forget about, its not only about the hours count Clients have said to me. “But I slept for eight hours! I said to myself, “How can I still be so tired? The Answer: Generally, Insomnia or Poor-quality Sleep.

Common problems dealt with more by ADHD brains: Poor sleep (insomnia, tossing & turning, waking fatigued) Co-occurring sleep disorders, such as snoring or sleep apnea Fragmented sleep (you are waking often during the night without realising it) Sure, those recommended hours count , but if the sleep architecture (deep, restorative sleep cycles) are being constantly interrupted by various factors … that localised architecture recharges the brain a lot less than it should be.

California Connection

Since we’re focusing on California, let me say this: our bright, sunny mornings can actually be a gift for ADHD brains. Exposure to natural light early in the day helps regulate circadian rhythms (your body’s internal sleep-wake clock). But many of my California clients also struggle with the late-night culture here, Silicon Valley tech workers coding until 2 a.m., or students on West Coast time gaming with friends across different time zones. That combination, late nights + bright mornings, creates a tug-of-war on ADHD sleep cycles.

How Many Hours Should an ADHD Person Sleep?

Sleep Hours and ADHD

One of the common questions I receive is, “How much sleep do I really need if I have ADHD?” Short answer: Maybe, but most likely more than the standard suggestion The National Sleep Foundation would say 7–9 hours for adults, but many ADHDers need closer to 8–10 in order to be functioning optimally. Why the extra time? If your self-care routine is even marginally compromised, ADHD brains take much longer to shut down and recover , much unlike the rest of society , only reinforcing the importance of maintaining appropriate sleep regimens.

Quality Over Quantity

Remember: it’s not just the hours. Quality matters more than quantity. A restless 9-hour sleep doesn’t help as much as a focused, restorative 7.5-hour sleep. Key tips to improve sleep quality:

  1. Consistent schedule – go to bed and wake up at the same time daily.
  2. Morning light exposure – helps set your circadian rhythm.
  3. Evening wind-down – avoid screens and bright lights 1–2 hours before bed.
  4. Limit stimulants – caffeine, nicotine, and energy drinks can wreak havoc on ADHD sleep.

 Evening Sleep Patterns and Common Disorders

Many adults with ADHD are “night owls”, naturally preferring later bedtimes. Combine this with work or school schedules that require early wake times, and sleep debt piles up fast. Common sleep challenges include:

  • Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (difficulty falling asleep until very late)
  • Restless Legs Syndrome
  • Sleep fragmentation (waking multiple times at night without realizing)

These factors reinforce why more total sleep and better sleep hygiene are crucial for ADHD brains.

Practical Strategies to Improve Sleep in ADHD

Establish a Consistent Nighttime Routine

ADHD brains thrive on structure. Failing to establish a regular pre-sleep routine tells your brain that you might still be in the mood for stuff. Examples:

  • Take a warm shower or bath
  • Read a calming book
  • Practice light stretching or yoga

Off topic, but also possible   journaling or planning your day ahead A consistent routine even if 10 to 15 min, adds a lot to productivity.

Reduce Evening Stimulants

Caffeine, nicotine, and sugar can delay sleep onset or cause fragmented sleep. Tips:

  • Avoid caffeine 6–8 hours before bed
  • Limit sugary snacks in the evening
  • Consider decaf or herbal teas

Leverage Natural Light and Circadian Techniques

Exposure to bright (natural sunlight) light at the morning to kick off your internal clock and dull (dim artificial) lighting in the night signaled your brain that it must start releasing melatonin. Try: • Morning sunlight exposure (10–20 minutes)

  • Switch to evening dim light, no screens 1–2 hrs before bed

If you simply must use the screen (no judgements here), consider getting a pair of blue-light blocking glasses.

Mind Relaxation Techniques

Racing thoughts are common in ADHD. Techniques to calm the mind:

  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Guided meditation or mindfulness apps
  • Progressive muscle relaxation
  • Journaling thoughts before bed to “offload” your mind

Nutrition, Exercise, and Lifestyle Tips for Better Sleep in ADHD

Sleep-Friendly Nutrition

What you eat can impact sleep quality. Key tips:

  • Include foods rich in magnesium (nuts, seeds, leafy greens)
  • Try tryptophan-containing foods (turkey, eggs, dairy) to support melatonin
  • Avoid heavy meals 2–3 hours before bed

Regular Physical Activity

Exercise helps regulate sleep cycles and reduce ADHD hyperactivity. Recommendations:

  • Moderate exercise 20–60 minutes per day
  • Avoid intense workouts right before bedtime
  • Outdoor activities boost sunlight exposure for circadian rhythm

Stress Management and Lifestyle Habits

Daily habits can influence sleep quality. Try:

  • Keeping a consistent wake-up time, even on weekends
  • Limiting screen time 1–2 hours before bed
  • Practicing relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or journaling

Enhancing Natural Sleep Cycles

Encouraging your body’s natural rhythm improves sleep:

  • Morning sunlight exposure
  • Evening dim lighting
  • Consistent bedtime and wake-up schedule

Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques (CBT) and Complementary Therapies for ADHD Sleep

Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques for Sleep

CBT can address sleep problems by changing thoughts and habits:

  • Identify negative beliefs about sleep
  • Replace them with realistic, calming thoughts
  • Develop a structured bedtime routine
  • Use sleep restriction and stimulus control techniques

Complementary Therapies (Summary)

Some people find these helpful for sleep improvement:

  • Melatonin supplements in low doses
  • Herbal teas like chamomile or valerian
  • Mindfulness, yoga, or light massage

Sleep challenges are a common and often underestimated aspect of ADHD. Whether it’s difficulty falling asleep, delayed sleep phase, restless nights, or medication-related disturbances, these issues significantly impact focus, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. By adopting consistent sleep routines, managing environmental factors, addressing comorbid conditions, and exploring complementary strategies like mindfulness or light therapy, individuals with ADHD coaching can improve both the quality and quantity of their sleep.

Remember, sleep is not just about hours it’s about restorative rest. Small, practical steps, paired with professional guidance, can make a meaningful difference.

Ready to transform your sleep and reclaim your focus? Contact our ADHD specialists at Heal-Thrive today for personalized coaching, download our practical sleep guide, or schedule a one-on-one session to start building healthier sleep habits tonight. Your brain and your life will thank you.

What are the 4 stages of psychotherapy?
By admin 0 Comments psychotherapy, Blog, Psychotherapy near me, Psychotherapy online, Psychotherapy techniques, Psychotherapy treatment, Psychotherapy vs counseling, Therapy, Types of psychotherapy

What are the 4 stages of psychotherapy?

What are the 4 stages of psychotherapy?

When people first come to therapy, they often ask: “So… how does this work?” And honestly, it’s a great question, because psychotherapy isn’t just a conversation, and it’s definitely not a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s a process. A layered, evolving process that unfolds across different stages of psychotherapy.

Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, trauma, depression, or simply feeling stuck, understanding the psychotherapy stages can help you approach the journey with more confidence, and a whole lot more compassion for yourself.

Here’s the thing: therapy isn’t linear. It doesn’t always go from A to B. Sometimes clients revisit earlier stages. Sometimes progress happens in a single insight. Sometimes it takes months. The important part? You’re not broken — you’re growing.

In this article, we’ll explore the four major therapy process steps, based on decades of clinical research and real-world practice. We’ll walk through each phase of therapy, what to expect, common challenges, and how to know when real change is happening.

Backed by research from McConnaughy et al. (1983), Krebs et al. (2018), and Rubel et al. (2015), these stages reflect the core structure of healing in effective psychotherapy, no matter your diagnosis or background.

Stage 1 – Initial Engagement: Building the Foundation of the Therapeutic Relationship

I’ll never forget a client, let’s call her “Maya.” She walked into my office looking skeptical, even a little guarded. Like many people starting therapy, she wasn’t sure what to expect. “Am I supposed to just… talk?” she asked, glancing at the couch like it might swallow her whole.

And honestly, that hesitation? Totally normal.

The first stage of psychotherapy, often referred to as initial engagement, is all about building trust, safety, and alignment between client and therapist. As Coleman (1949) emphasized, this phase lays the groundwork for every meaningful transformation that follows.

Here’s what I tell clients at the beginning:

You’re not expected to have it all figured out. Just show up. We’ll do the rest together.

During this stage, we typically focus on:

  • Exploring what brings the client to therapy
  • Clarifying goals and expectations
  • Establishing therapeutic boundaries
  • Co-creating a sense of safety
  • Building the therapeutic alliance

The therapeutic alliance, that deep, collaborative relationship, is one of the strongest predictors of therapy success (Rubel et al., 2015). If that relationship feels shaky, everything else becomes harder. But when it clicks? Real change begins to feel possible.

For Maya, we spent a few sessions just getting comfortable. Talking about surface-level stuff, gently exploring family dynamics, fears, and a history of emotional self-protection. Eventually, she exhaled. That sigh, that moment, is when therapy really started.

It’s not about rushing into the “deep work.” It’s about feeling safe enough to go there when you’re ready.

Stage 2 – The Working Phase: Exploring Patterns and Making Meaning

This is the stage where things get… well, real.

Once the foundation is laid, once there’s enough trust, safety, and connection, therapy moves into what we often call the “working phase.” Think of this as the heart of the therapeutic journey. According to Rubel et al. (2015), this is where most measurable emotional and behavioral shifts begin to emerge.

I remember a client, let’s call him Daniel, who came to therapy with severe anxiety but couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. Over time, we started noticing a pattern: his anxiety spiked every time he felt he might disappoint someone. We traced that back to early family expectations, a father who never praised, a mother who only acknowledged achievement.

In this phase, we focus on:

  • Identifying emotional patterns and defense mechanisms
  • Connecting past experiences to present behavior
  • Challenging cognitive distortions (CBT comes in handy here)
  • Processing unresolved trauma or grief
  • Building insight and emotional awareness

The therapy room often becomes a mirror, not always a flattering one, but an honest one. And that’s where the power lies. Once clients see their patterns, they can begin to change them.

Psychodynamic approaches shine here, especially in helping clients recognize unconscious motivations. But humanistic methods matter just as much, creating a space where clients feel deeply understood, not just analyzed.

The truth? This phase is often uncomfortable. Clients may resist or even backslide. But that’s not failure, it’s part of the process. As Krebs et al. (2018) highlighted, meaningful change follows a nonlinear path. One step forward, two steps back, and that’s okay.

Daniel had setbacks. Missed sessions. Defensiveness. But slowly, he learned to tolerate disappointment, in himself and others. And that’s when his anxiety began to loosen its grip.

Stage 3 – The Integration Phase: Strengthening Change and Building Skills

By the time we enter this phase, therapy starts to feel… lighter.

Not because the work is done, no, not yet, but because something has shifted. Clients begin internalizing insights. They don’t just understand their patterns anymore, they start living differently.

This is the integration phase, where healing becomes embodied.

It’s when therapy moves from exploration to implementation. We focus on:

  • Practicing new skills in real-life situations
  • Strengthening new cognitive and emotional habits
  • Rehearsing boundary-setting, assertiveness, or vulnerability
  • Reinforcing identity changes (e.g., “I’m no longer broken”)
  • Preventing relapse and planning for future challenges

One of my clients, I’ll call her Marisol, had spent months uncovering deep shame about her worth. In this phase, we practiced self-compassion exercises and role-played difficult conversations. She began to speak up at work. Set boundaries with her family. She even said no (politely but firmly!) to a toxic friend who had drained her for years.

In CBT, we’d call this phase the “skills consolidation” part. But it’s not just about cognitive tools, it’s about alignment. Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors begin to sync up. The “aha” moments turn into everyday actions.

Psychodynamic work continues, too, helping clients tolerate emotional ambivalence, process loss (even the grief of letting go of old identities), and deepen self-reflection. As McConnaughy et al. (1983) suggested, clients in this phase begin shifting from “I have a problem” to “I am capable of change.”

And yes, there’s joy here. Laughter starts sneaking into sessions. Clients begin imagining futures, not just escaping their pasts.

Stage 4 – Termination Phase: Closure, Reflection, and Transitioning Forward

Okay, here’s where things get both a little bittersweet and incredibly powerful.

Termination, or as we sometimes call it, the therapy “goodbye”, is not just a final session. It’s a phase packed with meaning, reflection, and often growth.

After weeks, months, or even years, clients and therapists prepare to end their formal relationship. It’s a time to review the journey, celebrate progress, and plan for the future.

One thing I always emphasize is the ethics of termination, it must be done thoughtfully. Abrupt endings can harm the therapeutic alliance and risk undoing gains. So, I make sure to discuss this phase early in therapy so clients aren’t blindsided.

During termination, common themes surface:

  • Reflecting on how far the client has come
  • Identifying tools and strategies clients feel confident to use independently
  • Addressing feelings of loss or anxiety about no longer having regular support
  • Creating relapse prevention plans
  • Discussing potential for future check-ins or booster sessions

I remember a client, let’s call him David, who struggled for years with chronic anxiety. When we reached termination, he was nervous about “being on his own.” So, we developed a personalized toolkit: mindfulness exercises, journaling prompts, and a crisis plan. We scheduled a “booster” session three months post-therapy to check in. That helped ease his transition.

This stage confirms that therapy is not a quick fix but a process, one that plants seeds clients can nurture long after sessions end.

The termination phase also reflects the final part of the therapeutic relationship stages. It requires sensitivity and professionalism to close the bond healthily.

As clients step out of therapy, they carry new insights, resilience, and hope. And that, to me, is the real benefit of psychotherapy.

So, those are the four key stages of psychotherapy:

  1. Initial phase — building trust and clarifying goals
  2. Exploration phase — uncovering patterns and emotions
  3. Integration phase — practicing change and strengthening skills
  4. Termination phase — reflecting, closing, and moving forward

Understanding these stages helps demystify the therapy process steps and shows how psychotherapy really works, it’s a collaborative journey, not a quick fix.

Remember, therapy is as unique as the people in it. No two experiences are exactly alike, and timelines can vary. The phases I described are guidelines, grounded in research (McConnaughy et al., 1983; Krebs et al., 2018) and clinical practice.

If you’re considering therapy, or already on this path, know that each phase offers new opportunities to heal and grow.

And if you’re in California or nearby, Heal-Thrive.com’s experienced therapists are here to support you every step of the way.

Download our free guide on the stages of psychotherapy, or book a session to explore how these phases apply to your unique story.

Because at the end of the day, therapy’s true benefit lies in the lasting change and empowerment it brings.

[1] Change the freudian couch picture. Make it normal couch and therapist couch. Keep pictures the same.  Either real human or cartonic

By admin 0 Comments adhd, adhd coach, adhd coach near me, adhd coach service, adhd coaching, Blog

What Are the 9 Symptoms of ADD?

What Are the 9 Symptoms of ADD?

(And Why People Still Use the Term)

I still remember one of my first coaching calls with a new client, let’s call her “Sara.” She was in her mid-thirties, sharp, hardworking, but chronically overwhelmed. Midway through our session, she said:

“I think I might have ADD, not ADHD. I’m not hyper at all, never was. I just… forget stuff. Constantly. I zone out. I lose track of time. But I don’t feel like I have ADHD, you know?”

Sara isn’t alone. In fact, millions of adults and parents still search for answers using the term “ADD”, even though, technically, ADD isn’t a clinical diagnosis anymore.

Wait—What Is ADD Then? And How Is It Different from ADHD?

Here’s the truth: ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) used to be the go-to label for people who struggled mainly with inattention, without the hyperactivity or impulsiveness that most people associate with “classic” ADHD.

But then the diagnostic manual changed.

According to the DSM-5 (that’s the official manual doctors use to diagnose mental health conditions), ADD is now considered an outdated term. What we used to call ADD is now formally diagnosed as:

ADHD – Predominantly Inattentive Presentation

So yes, ADD = Inattentive ADHD. Same symptoms. New name.

But here’s the twist: even though clinicians and researchers use the term “ADHD,” the rest of the world still googles “ADD.” That’s why I use both in this article, to speak your language and give you accurate, updated information.

If you’ve ever asked questions like:

  • Do I have ADD or ADHD?
  • Why can’t I stay focused, but I’m not hyper?
  • Is it possible to have ADHD without being loud or energetic?

You’re in the right place.

We’re going to break down the 9 core symptoms of inattentive ADHD (aka ADD), especially as they show up in real life for adults, teens, and kids. And I’ll walk you through how I help clients manage these challenges in coaching sessions, step by step.

But first, let’s bust one more myth…

What Are the 9 Symptoms of ADD?

(Straight from Real-Life Coaching)

When people ask me, “What does ADD actually look like?” I never answer with a textbook list right away. I think of my clients, smart, passionate, deeply caring people, who are quietly drowning in chaos nobody else sees.

Let me break down the 9 core symptoms of ADD (inattentive ADHD) the way I’ve seen them show up in real lives. This isn’t some cold diagnostic checklist, these are the invisible struggles my clients face every single day.

  1. Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes

It’s not that you’re careless. You care deeply, but your brain skips lines, forgets steps, or misses critical details, especially in boring or repetitive tasks.

Coaching insight: I once worked with a marketing executive who’d proofread the same email three times, yet still miss a client’s name. Why? Because the mind drifts when the task isn’t engaging. We used a 3-stage proofreading system (with voice-to-text feedback) to help her catch the errors her brain was filtering out.

  1. Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities

Reading a book, sitting through meetings, even watching a movie… it’s like your brain just taps out halfway through.

Real-life example: One of my clients, a college student, told me she “zoned out” halfway through every lecture, even in subjects she loved. We built 20-minute focus sprints followed by 5-minute micro-rewards, and her grades improved within 3 weeks.

  1. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

Not because you’re rude. It’s like your ears are working, but your brain’s tuned to a different frequency. You want to listen. You just didn’t realize you stopped.

Coaching trick: We used “verbal bookmarks”, teaching a client to literally say, “Hold on, let me focus for a sec,” before someone starts talking. It signaled their brain to tune in.

  1. Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace

You start with the best intentions. But then—POOF. The task disappears. Not because you’re lazy. Because your working memory let go.

Fix that worked: One of my adult clients with ADD used a “See it, Do it, Log it” system. If she didn’t write down every step she completed in real-time, the brain would literally forget she ever started the task.

  1. Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities

Planning feels overwhelming. You either over-plan for hours and never start, or avoid planning altogether. Projects pile up. Timelines get messy.

What we did: I taught one client the “3-Pile Prioritizing” method, Immediate, Important, and Ignore. It was simple enough for her ADD brain to not shut down, and visual enough to stay on track.

  1. Avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort

Tax forms. Reports. Studying. Even answering emails can feel physically painful because it drains so much energy.

Energy audit technique: I helped one software engineer measure when his brain naturally had the most focus, late mornings, and we blocked all deep-thought tasks for that 90-minute window. No more afternoon mental crashes.

  1. Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities

Your phone, your keys, your wallet, your glasses, you swear they were just there. Now they’ve vanished. Again.

Coaching fix: Habit anchors. We created a “home base” for every item, and practiced a daily 60-second routine to reset it. He called it his “ADD survival ritual.”

  1. Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

Everything is interesting… except what you’re supposed to be doing. A sound, a movement, a random idea, and BOOM, focus derailed.

What helped: One of my creative clients used brown noise headphones + a blank notepad titled “Later Brain.” Every distracting thought went there instead of becoming a rabbit hole.

  1. Is often forgetful in daily activities

You miss appointments. You forget what you just said. You walk into a room and… wait, why are you here again?

Client tip: One client built a “Daily Check-In” ritual, morning, noon, and night. Three 2-minute resets where she asked: What did I just do? What do I need to do next? What am I likely to forget?

These 9 symptoms aren’t just “annoying quirks.” For many people with ADD, they add up to lost jobs, failed relationships, chronic self-doubt, and worst of all, a sense that something’s “wrong” with them.

But here’s what I tell every client:

There’s nothing wrong with your brain. You just need strategies that work with it, not against it.

ADD in Adults vs. Children: Why It Looks So Different

(and Why Women Get Missed)

When most people picture ADD or ADHD, they think of a hyper little boy bouncing off the walls. That’s one version, but it’s not the only one. And frankly, it’s not the most common one, especially in adults.

Let’s dive into how ADD shows up differently in kids, adults, and especially in women, and why so many people never get the right diagnosis until later in life.

In Children: The “Quiet Daydreamers”

Children with inattentive ADD are often the ones teachers describe as:

  • “Sweet, but spacey”
  • “Bright, but forgetful”
  • “Always off in their own world”

They’re not causing trouble, so they’re overlooked. But they struggle with:

  • Completing homework
  • Following multi-step directions
  • Staying focused in class
  • Getting ready in time

These kids often fly under the radar. especially if they’re girls, because they’re not disruptive.

Many are misdiagnosed as lazy, anxious, or unmotivated.

In Adults: The Overwhelmed Achievers

By adulthood, the symptoms don’t go away, they just evolve.

Adults with ADD might seem “functional” on the outside, but inside they’re:

  • Constantly distracted
  • Forgetting appointments or tasks
  • Struggling with time blindness
  • Overcommitted and exhausted
  • Mentally cluttered and self-critical

I’ve coached CEOs, doctors, moms, artists, all secretly drowning in executive dysfunction, blaming themselves for “not having it together.”

They weren’t broken. Their brains just worked differently.

Why Women with ADD Often Get Missed

This is a big one.

Women and girls with ADD are far less likely to be diagnosed, and here’s why:

  • They internalize symptoms—turning frustration inward into anxiety or shame.
  • They learn to mask their struggles by overworking or people-pleasing.
  • The stereotype of “hyperactive ADHD” doesn’t fit them.

Instead of bouncing off walls, they’re:

  • Constantly exhausted from mental overload
  • Apologizing for being “scatterbrained”
  • Quietly falling apart while looking “fine”

Studies show that women often don’t get diagnosed until their 30s or 40s, usually after their kids get diagnosed and they recognize the symptoms in themselves.

From My Practice

One of my clients, a successful attorney, came to me after her 10-year-old son was diagnosed with ADHD.
She said, “I read the symptoms for him and realized, I’m living with the same chaos every day.”

She’d spent decades building coping systems to survive, not knowing her brain was wired differently.

 Bottom Line:

ADD isn’t always loud. It’s often quiet, hidden, masked, and misunderstood, especially in women and high-achievers.

The good news? Recognition changes everything. Once you understand the shape of your brain, you can finally work with it, not against it.

Busting Myths About ADD: What You Think You Know Is Probably Wrong

When it comes to ADD, misinformation is everywhere. From social media stereotypes to outdated medical beliefs, there are so many myths floating around that they make it harder for people to recognize the signs, and get help.

Let’s clear the air.

Myth #1: ADD Is Just a Childhood Problem

Truth: ADD doesn’t disappear with age. It changes shape.

Adults might not be bouncing off walls, but they still struggle with focus, memory, time, and emotional regulation.

Myth #2: You Can’t Have ADD If You’re Successful

Truth: Many high performers have ADD. In fact, they often succeed despite their ADD, not because they don’t have it.

They’ve spent years building coping mechanisms, burning out, or staying up late to get things done. Success doesn’t cancel out brain wiring.

Myth #3: ADD Means You’re Lazy or Unmotivated

Truth: Most people with ADD are working twice as hard to keep up. What looks like laziness is often executive dysfunction, the brain’s struggle to plan, prioritize, and finish tasks.

It’s not about effort. It’s about how the brain organizes action.

Myth #4: ADD Is Just a Focus Problem

Truth: ADD affects more than just focus. It impacts:

  • Emotional regulation
  • Impulse control
  • Time management
  • Sleep patterns
  • Memory
  • Self-esteem

It’s a whole-brain condition, not just a concentration issue.

Myth #5: Everyone Gets Distracted—That Doesn’t Mean It’s ADD

Truth: Yes, everyone gets distracted sometimes. But for people with ADD, it’s persistent, chronic, and disruptive, it affects daily life, relationships, and even their sense of identity.

If your whole life feels like a mess of missed deadlines, broken promises, and exhaustion, that’s not “normal distraction.”

 Bottom Line:

These myths hurt. They delay diagnoses. They make people feel ashamed or broken.
That’s why busting them matters. Once we remove the shame, we can focus on real tools and support that actually help.

The Executive Function Connection: Why ADD Is More Than Just Attention

If you’ve ever wondered why you struggle to start things, finish them, or manage your day, this is where ADD really shows its true colors: executive dysfunction.

ADD isn’t just about being easily distracted. It’s about how the brain organizes, initiates, and regulates behavior. That’s what we call executive function, a set of mental skills we all rely on every single day.

What Are Executive Functions?

Executive functions are like the CEO of your brain. They help you:

  • Start tasks (initiation)
  • Prioritize what matters (planning)
  • Keep track of steps (working memory)
  • Stay focused (attention control)
  • Control impulses (inhibition)
  • Adjust when things change (flexibility)
  • Finish things (goal-directed persistence)

In people with ADD, these processes are often impaired, not because of lack of intelligence or willpower, but because of how their brains are wired.

Executive Dysfunction in Real Life

Here’s what executive dysfunction might look like in daily life:

  • You have 100 tabs open—and forgot why you opened them
  • You procrastinate even on things you want to do
  • You feel overwhelmed by small decisions
  • You constantly underestimate how long things take
  • You lose track of appointments, tasks, and even conversations
  • You know what to do—but just can’t get started

Sound familiar? That’s not laziness. That’s neurobiology.

Why This Matters in Coaching

As an ADD coach, I don’t just focus on symptoms, I focus on executive function scaffolding.

That means helping clients:

  • Build routines and structures that work with their brains, not against them
  • Learn time awareness and task initiation strategies
  • Use tech tools that support memory and focus
  • Create accountability systems that reduce overwhelm
  • Work with—not against—their natural rhythms

You don’t “fix” executive dysfunction with motivation.

You manage it with tools, systems, and support.

The Emotional Cost of Living with ADD

ADD doesn’t just affect how you think, it affects how you feel about yourself. And for many of my clients, that’s the hardest part.

They’ve been told they’re lazy, careless, unmotivated, or “too sensitive.” Over time, these messages sink in. They don’t just feel distracted. They feel defective.

This chronic self-doubt has a name: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a heightened emotional response to real or perceived rejection, often experienced by people with ADD.

What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

RSD is not in the DSM, but it’s real. People with ADD often:

  • Feel intense shame after minor criticism
  • Obsess over whether someone is upset with them
  • Avoid risk or speaking up to avoid rejection
  • Interpret neutral feedback as deeply personal
  • Cry easily or shut down emotionally

It’s not about being emotionally weak. It’s about an overactive nervous system that’s always bracing for rejection.

Emotional Exhaustion Is Real

Many ADD clients tell me they’re tired of trying. Tired of explaining themselves. Tired of masking. Tired of disappointing people.

Living with ADD often means:

  • Feeling like you’re “too much” and “not enough” at the same time
  • Comparing yourself to neurotypical peers—and falling short
  • Carrying emotional wounds from childhood, school, work, or relationships
  • Believing that success is for “other people,” not you

But here’s the truth: You are not broken. Your brain is just different, and with the right support, that difference becomes strength.

Coaching for Emotional Regulation

When I coach clients through the emotional side of ADD, we focus on:

  • Naming and validating emotions instead of pushing them down
  • Learning self-compassion, not self-criticism
  • Reframing failure as feedback
  • Creating a community where you feel seen and safe
  • Building emotional resilience, one small win at a time

Because healing isn’t just about focus—it’s about feeling whole again.

Executive Function: The Real Core of ADD

Forget the outdated idea that ADD is just a “focus disorder.”

What really lies beneath the surface is a challenge with executive function, the brain’s control center.

Executive functions are the mental skills that help you:

  • Plan ahead
  • Prioritize tasks
  • Control impulses
  • Stay on track
  • Manage emotions
  • Shift attention
  • Start (and finish) things

Sound familiar? These are the exact areas where people with ADD tend to struggle.

ADD Is Not About Laziness or Lack of Willpower

I can’t say this enough:

ADD is not a moral failure.

It’s a neurological difference that affects how the brain organizes, prioritizes, and acts.

Executive function issues aren’t visible from the outside—but they affect nearly every part of life, including:

  • Relationships
  • Career paths
  • Money management
  • Self-esteem
  • Mental health

Once you understand that ADD is about executive function dysregulation, the shame starts to fade. And the real work can begin.

Coaching Can Train Your Executive Brain

The good news?

Executive functions can be strengthened, with the right support.

Through coaching, we work together to build skills like:

  • Planning backwards from a goal
  • Creating realistic routines
  • Managing distractions
  • Practicing emotional regulation
  • Building “activation strategies” to get started

You’re not broken. Your brain just needs better tools, and coaching gives you the blueprint.

What Actually Works for Treating ADD?

Here’s the truth: There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to treating ADD.

But there are strategies backed by neuroscience and years of real-life coaching results.

Let’s break them down into what actually helps, and what doesn’t.

What Works:

  1. Medication (for some people)

Stimulants and non-stimulants can help regulate brain chemistry, but they’re not magic. They support executive function; they don’t replace skill-building.

  1. Coaching
    ADD coaching builds habits, systems, and self-awareness. It’s practical and action-based, not therapy, but change-focused support.
  2. Structured routines

The ADD brain thrives on external structure. Routines, reminders, checklists, and timers are not “crutches”, they’re tools.

  1. Movement and exercise

Physical activity improves attention and mood. Even 10 minutes of movement can reset the brain’s chemistry.

  1. Mindfulness & emotional regulation

Learning to pause, reflect, and respond rather than react makes a huge difference, especially in relationships and work.

What Doesn’t Work:

  • Shaming yourself into changing

Guilt and self-hate don’t build motivation—they create paralysis.

  • Unrealistic productivity hacks

“Just try harder” or “use this trendy app” won’t work if your executive function is struggling.

  • Ignoring your brain’s needs

Treating ADD like a character flaw instead of a brain-based condition only leads to burnout.

The real key? A multi-layered approach, supporting both the biology of the brain and the real-world demands of daily life.

You don’t just need more motivation.

You need a system that fits how your brain works.

Practical Tips and Techniques for Managing ADD Symptoms

Managing ADD (or ADHD Inattentive Type) can feel overwhelming, but with the right strategies tailored to your brain’s unique wiring, you can significantly improve focus, organization, and daily functioning. From my experience coaching adults and teens, here are some proven, actionable techniques that really make a difference.

  1. Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps

One of the most common struggles with ADD is feeling paralyzed by big projects. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, break tasks down into bite-sized, manageable pieces.

  • Example: Instead of “clean the house,” list “pick up clothes,” “vacuum living room,” “do dishes.”
  • Use checklists or apps like Todoist or Microsoft To Do to track progress visually.
  1. Use Timers and Time Blocking

Time management is a classic challenge in ADD. Using timers (like the Pomodoro Technique) helps create urgency and structure.

  • Set a timer for 25 minutes of focused work, followed by a 5-minute break. Repeat.
  • Block specific time slots on your calendar for tasks and breaks to avoid overcommitment.
  1. Minimize Distractions in Your Environment

Creating an environment that supports focus is essential.

  • Use noise-cancelling headphones or white noise apps to drown out background noise.
  • Declutter your workspace—only keep essentials in sight.
  • Turn off phone notifications or use “Do Not Disturb” modes during focus times.
  1. Establish Consistent Routines

Predictability helps reduce the mental load of decision-making.

  • Set fixed wake-up, meal, and bedtime routines.
  • Have dedicated spots for keys, wallets, and important items to avoid losing them.
  1. Leverage Visual Reminders and Calendars

Visual cues are a huge help in managing forgetfulness.

  • Use wall calendars, sticky notes, or digital reminders for appointments and deadlines.
  • Color-code tasks by priority or type to organize at a glance.
  1. Practice Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

ADD symptoms often worsen with stress and overwhelm.

  • Brief mindfulness exercises (breathing, meditation apps) can improve attention and calm the mind.
  • Regular physical activity boosts dopamine levels, aiding focus.
  1. Use Executive Function Coaching Techniques

As a coach, I guide clients through skills like prioritizing, planning, and impulse control.

  • Teach “chunking” (grouping similar tasks) and “decision trees” to reduce overwhelm.
  • Role-play scenarios for managing distractions or social situations.
  1. Utilize Technology Wisely

Apps tailored for ADHD/ADD can be game-changers.

  • Reminder apps (like Due or Google Keep).
  • Focus apps (Forest, Focus Will).
  • Organizational tools (Trello, Notion).
  1. Seek Support and Accountability

Having someone to check in with keeps motivation up.

  • Join support groups or ADHD coaching sessions.
  • Use accountability partners for goal tracking.

Remember, managing ADD isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress and creating systems that work for you. These techniques require practice and patience, but with consistent effort, they can transform daily challenges into manageable routines.

Now that you understand the common symptoms of ADD and practical ways to manage them, it’s time to take the next step. Remember, managing ADD isn’t about perfection—it’s about finding strategies that work for you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, don’t hesitate to reach out for personalized coaching or download our detailed guide to help you on your journey. You don’t have to face this alone—support is just a click away.

What's the difference between ADD and ADHD?
By admin 0 Comments Blog, adhd, adhd adult, adhd coach, adhd coach near me, adhd coach service, adhd coaching

What’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?

What’s the difference between ADD and ADHD?

For years, people believed ADD and ADHD were two separate diagnoses. I’ve had clients, bright, successful professionals, walk into my office saying, “I think I have ADD, not ADHD. I’m not hyper.”
But here’s the truth: ADD is no longer a medical diagnosis. It hasn’t been for decades. And that confusion? It’s not harmless. It leads to misdiagnosis, missed opportunities, and years of silent struggle, especially for women and adults who fly under the radar.

If you’re wondering what exactly changed, and whether ADD still exists, this article will break it down, simply, clearly, and with real-life insight from ADHD coaching.

What Do ADD and ADHD Actually Mean? (And Why the Confusion?)

Many of my coaching clients are surprised to learn that ADD is no longer an official diagnosis.
In reality, these two terms, ADD and ADHD, refer to the same underlying set of executive function challenges, but the terminology has changed over time.

A Brief History:

  • In the 1980s (DSM-III): The term ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) was introduced with two subtypes, one with hyperactivity, one without.
  • But since 1994 (DSM-IV onward): ADD was removed and replaced by the umbrella term ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder).
  • Instead of ADD vs. ADHD, we now talk about three ADHD presentations:
    1. Predominantly Inattentive Type – what people often still call “ADD.”
    2. Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type
    3. Combined Type – the most common among adults.

Why Does This Matter?

When people still use the term ADD, they may misunderstand or misidentify themselves or others.
For example:

  • A person who’s easily distracted but not hyper may think they “don’t really have ADHD.”
  • Worse, they might never get properly diagnosed or supported, especially if they’re an adult or a woman with high functioning.

Consequences of This Confusion:

  • Delayed or missed diagnoses
  • Anxiety or depression due to untreated symptoms
  • Internalized shame or a false belief of being “lazy”
  • Years of struggling with something that could have been managed, if only the right label had been used.

The 3 Types of ADHD: What They Look Like in Real Life

Understanding the three presentations of ADHD is crucial, especially for adults who may have been missed as kids. Let’s break them down, not just by definition, but by how they show up in everyday life.

  1. Predominantly Inattentive Type (What people still call “ADD”)
  • Often quiet, daydreamy, or “lost in thought”
  • Misses details, forgets things, disorganized
  • May seem “lazy” or “not trying hard enough”
  • Common in girls, women, and high-IQ individuals
  • May not get diagnosed until adulthood, if at all

 Coach Insight:

One of my clients, a brilliant 39-year-old woman, went undiagnosed for decades. Her teachers praised her for being quiet, but no one saw how much she was struggling inside. ADHD wasn’t even on her radar until she had kids, and realized she was overwhelmed by everything.

  1. Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type
  • Restless, fidgety, interrupts often, talks a lot
  • Acts without thinking, trouble waiting their turn
  • Seen more often in young boys
  • Can be easier to recognize, but often mislabeled as “bad behavior”
  1. Combined Type
  • Has both inattentive and hyperactive symptoms
  • Most common among adult clients
  • Often internalized, they’ve spent years trying to “mask” or “push through”
  • Prone to burnout, anxiety, and self-doubt

Coach Insight:

Many of my adult clients with the combined type are high achievers on the outside, doctors, engineers, business owners. But inside, they feel like they’re holding it all together with duct tape. Coaching helps them finally connect the dots and create sustainable systems.

What ADHD Looks Like in Adulthood (Hint: It’s Not Just Fidgeting)

If you think adult ADHD just means getting distracted at work or forgetting your keys, think again. The adult experience of ADHD is often more subtle, and more painful, than people realize.

Common Signs of ADHD in Adults:

  • Constant mental noise — like a dozen browser tabs open at once
  • Difficulty starting or finishing tasks (even “easy” ones)
  • Chronic procrastination followed by frantic last-minute work
  • Time blindness — underestimating how long things take
  • Emotional dysregulation — feeling overwhelmed, irritable, or ashamed
  • Relationship struggles — forgetting things, interrupting, zoning out
  • Burnout — especially in high achievers who are masking symptoms

 Coach Insight:

Many clients come to me thinking they’re just “lazy” or “bad at life.” Once they understand their brain wiring, everything changes. We stop shaming and start strategizing.

How ADHD Hides in Plain Sight (Especially in Women & High Achievers)

ADHD isn’t always loud. In fact, many people, especially women, girls, and high performers, go undiagnosed for decades because their symptoms don’t “look like” ADHD.

Here’s how ADHD often goes unnoticed:

  • Internalized symptoms: Instead of acting out, you shut down. You daydream, zone out, or silently panic.
  • Masking and overcompensating: You work twice as hard to appear “on top of things,” even if it exhausts you.
  • People-pleasing and perfectionism: You try to stay liked and organized to avoid being seen as “too much.”
  • “Smart but scattered”: You’re bright, but your forgetfulness or inconsistency confuses others, and frustrates you.
  • Emotional overwhelm: You feel things deeply and intensely, but you’ve learned to hide it well.

Coach Insight:

I often work with brilliant women and gifted professionals who say, “I thought I was just anxious or sensitive.” Once we explore their story, ADHD explains so much.

The Neuroscience of ADHD: It’s Not About Willpower

One of the most harmful myths about ADHD is that it’s a motivation problem, that people with ADHD are lazy, careless, or just not trying hard enough. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

ADHD is a brain-based executive function disorder. It affects how the brain manages time, attention, memory, emotions, and tasks. Here’s what neuroscience tells us:

What’s really going on in the ADHD brain?

  • Dopamine dysregulation: The ADHD brain struggles with dopamine, the “reward” neurotransmitter that helps with motivation and focus. Tasks that are boring, routine, or don’t offer instant gratification are painfully hard to start or finish.
  • Delayed frontal lobe development: The prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for planning, organization, and impulse control, develops more slowly in people with ADHD.
  • Time blindness: ADHD brains perceive time differently, often leading to chronic lateness, procrastination, or “hyper focusing” on the wrong thing.

 Coach Perspective:

It’s not about laziness. It’s about brain wiring. When we understand this, we stop blaming ourselves and start building smarter systems.

ADHD in Adults: The Signs You Might Miss

When most people think of ADHD, they imagine a hyperactive little boy bouncing off the walls. But adult ADHD often looks completely different, and it’s far more common than people realize.

Many adults with ADHD go undiagnosed for decades. Why? Because their symptoms don’t always match the stereotype. Instead of bouncing, they’re burning out. Instead of daydreaming, they’re drowning in distractions.

Subtle Signs of Adult ADHD

  • Chronic procrastination, even on things you care about
  • Starting tons of projects — finishing few
  • Always running late, underestimating time
  • Trouble staying organized despite best intentions
  • Emotional overwhelm or overreaction to stress
  • Frequent career or relationship changes

 Real Talk:

Many of my clients were high achievers who felt like they were “secretly broken” inside. ADHD wasn’t holding them back, not knowing it was ADHD was.

ADHD in Women: The Misdiagnosed Majority

For decades, ADHD was seen as a “boy’s disorder.” As a result, millions of girls grew up undiagnosed, misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, or simply labeled as lazy, emotional, or dramatic.

Why? Because women and girls often present ADHD differently. They may not be disruptive or hyperactive. Instead, they’re quietly struggling, internally overwhelmed, and constantly trying to keep it all together.

What ADHD Looks Like in Women

  • People-pleasing and perfectionism as coping tools
  • Extreme emotional sensitivity and rejection sensitivity
  • Internalized anxiety that masks attention issues
  • Chronic guilt for “not doing enough”
  • Exhaustion from masking or overcompensating

Insight from Coaching:

So many of the brilliant women I coach have spent their lives blaming themselves. When they realize it’s ADHD, there’s often a mix of grief, and profound relief.

ADHD and the Executive Function Puzzle

At the heart of ADHD isn’t just attention, it’s executive dysfunction. That’s why people with ADHD can hyperfocus for hours on something interesting, but struggle with starting a simple task like replying to an email.

Executive functions are the brain’s “management system”, they help you:

  • Organize and prioritize
  • Manage time effectively
  • Regulate emotions
  • Initiate and complete tasks
  • Remember what to do (working memory)

When these systems are out of sync, daily life can feel chaotic, even when you’re intelligent, motivated, and capable.

Coaching Perspective:

ADHD isn’t a problem of knowing what to do, it’s a problem of doing what you know. That’s where coaching helps reconnect intention with action.

Executive Function and ADHD: The Core Challenge

ADHD isn’t just about attention; it’s primarily about executive function difficulties. Executive functions are the brain’s management skills, helping us organize, plan, manage time, control emotions, and follow through on tasks.

When executive function is impaired, even simple daily activities become overwhelming, despite motivation or intelligence.

As a coach, I often say: ADHD isn’t about knowing what to do; it’s about doing what you know. Coaching bridges that gap between intention and action.

Practical Coaching Strategies for Managing ADHD

When working with clients struggling to differentiate between ADD and ADHD, and more importantly to manage their symptoms, I’ve found several practical strategies that truly make a difference. Here’s a step-by-step guide grounded in evidence-based approaches and real-world coaching experience:

  1. Clarify ADHD Presentation

First, identify whether the client’s challenges fit predominantly inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, or combined presentations. This helps tailor strategies effectively.

  1. Build Structure with Flexibility

Rigid schedules often fail people with ADHD. Instead, I recommend creating flexible routines that offer consistency but allow room for spontaneity — a balance that helps maintain engagement without feeling trapped.

  1. Break Tasks into Small Steps

Large projects can overwhelm. Breaking them into bite-sized tasks makes goals feel achievable and reduces procrastination.

  1. Use External Tools

Calendars, alarms, reminder apps, and visual planners act as “external brains,” helping clients track tasks and deadlines more reliably.

  1. Foster Emotional Regulation

Helping clients recognize emotional triggers and practice mindfulness or grounding techniques (based on research like Murrell et al., 2015) improves self-control and focus.

  1. Encourage Self-Compassion and Growth Mindset

ADHD coaching thrives on reducing stigma and shame. Encouraging clients to view challenges as manageable and to celebrate small wins promotes motivation.

Understanding the difference between ADD and ADHD, and recognizing how ADHD affects executive function, is the first step toward managing your challenges effectively.

Remember, ADHD is not a limitation but a unique wiring that, with the right strategies and support, can lead to creativity, resilience, and success.

As your coach, I’m here to help you transform knowledge into action, build habits that stick, and unlock your full potential.

Ready to take control? Let’s start this journey together. Reach out today and discover how coaching can change your life.

Are you ready to take charge of your ADHD journey and unlock your true potential? Don’t wait any longer, reach out today for personalized coaching that empowers you to thrive. Let’s work together to build strategies tailored to your unique strengths and challenges.

Contact me now and start transforming your life!

How Many Therapy Sessions Do I Need?
By admin 0 Comments Blog, psychotherapy, Psychotherapy near me, Psychotherapy online, Psychotherapy techniques, Psychotherapy treatment, Psychotherapy vs counseling, Therapy, Types of psychotherapy

How Many Therapy Sessions Do I Need?

How Many Therapy Sessions Do I Need?

One of the most common questions I hear from people who come to therapy is:

“So… how many sessions will it take to fix this?”

And honestly? I understand why they ask. Starting therapy can feel like entering a foggy trail with no map—uncertain, vulnerable, and a little intimidating. People want a sense of direction. A timeline. Some kind of expectation.

My answer is usually something like:

“It depends—but the fact that you’re here means you’ve already started moving forward.”

And that small truth often brings a little relief.

No one wants therapy to feel endless. Most people want to know: Is this going to take 6 sessions? 12? 6 months? Can I afford it emotionally, financially, energetically?

Here’s the truth: how long therapy takes depends on what you’re coming in for, and what you hope to get out of it.

If you’re working through something like a recent anxiety spike, the process might be shorter than if you’re unpacking childhood trauma, relationship patterns, or long-term depression. That doesn’t mean one is “easier” or more “serious”, just that each person’s journey has a different terrain.

Still, I know that “it depends” isn’t the most satisfying answer. So let’s talk specifics.

In this guide, I’ll break down:

  • The average number of sessions for common concerns like anxiety, depression, and trauma
  • What short-term vs long-term therapy looks like
  • What factors speed up or slow down progress
  • What it actually means to “feel better”
  • And how you’ll know when you’re ready to stop (or take a break)

You’ll also hear anonymized stories from real clients I’ve worked with, because seeing someone else’s roadmap can often help you chart your own.

If you’re asking, “How long will this take?”, you’re in the right place. Let’s make the path clearer, together.

What Factors Influence How Many Therapy Sessions You’ll Need?

When people ask “How many sessions will I need?”, what they’re really asking is:

“What’s going to influence how long this takes for me?”

Because the truth is, therapy is not one-size-fits-all. And while averages and estimates are helpful, what shapes your therapy timeline is deeply personal.

Here are the most important factors that influence how many sessions you might need:

  1. What You’re Working On

Some goals are more focused and short-term, like managing work stress, improving sleep, or preparing for a big life transition. These may only take a few sessions or a few months of weekly therapy.

Other issues, like healing from trauma, addressing chronic anxiety or depression, or working through long-standing relationship patterns, tend to need more time and depth. They involve not just solving a “problem,” but learning to relate differently to yourself and your world.

  1. Your Therapy Goals

It’s one thing to want symptom relief, like “I just want to stop having panic attacks.”
It’s another to want deeper change, like “I want to understand why I keep burning out in relationships.”

The clearer your goals, the easier it is to plan for how long therapy might take. But also, goals evolve. What starts as managing anxiety might grow into exploring purpose, self-worth, or family history.

And that’s not a bad thing. It means you’re healing.

  1. How Often You Attend Sessions

Weekly sessions tend to bring more consistent progress than biweekly or monthly ones, especially in the beginning. Gaps between sessions slow momentum and make it harder to build trust and therapeutic rhythm.

That said, therapy isn’t a race. If your schedule or budget allows for less frequent sessions, your therapist can help create a plan that still supports your goals.

  1. Your Readiness and Resources

Are you in a stable place emotionally and practically to do the work therapy asks of you? Things like safety, support systems, and even sleep can affect your capacity to process and grow.

Also, your internal readiness matters. Are you open to reflection? Willing to be honest? Therapy often works best when you’re ready to show up, even when it’s uncomfortable.

  1. Your Therapist’s Approach

Some therapists use time-limited models (like CBT or solution-focused therapy), which aim for shorter-term change. Others work more relationally or insight-oriented, which may take longer but go deeper.

Neither is “better”, it depends on your goals and what works for you. The key is that you and your therapist are aligned on expectations and direction.

  1. Your Life Outside of Therapy

Therapy doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Life keeps moving, work stress, relationship changes, parenting challenges. Sometimes these add to your therapy goals, other times they slow things down.

Also, the more you apply what you explore in therapy to your real life, the more impactful and efficient the process becomes.

So, how many sessions do you need?

It depends on all of this, and more.

But don’t let that overwhelm you. The goal isn’t to “finish therapy” like it’s a checklist. The goal is to use therapy in a way that supports who you are and where you’re going.

In the next section, we’ll break down what the numbers actually look like, so you can better understand the averages and what they might mean for your journey.

How Many Therapy Sessions Are Usually Needed?

While therapy is deeply personal, research can still give us helpful benchmarks.

So if you’re wondering “What’s normal?”, here’s what we know:

Short-Term Therapy Models

Short-term therapy models, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), often aim to create meaningful change in a limited number of sessions.

Here are some general ranges:

  • CBT for anxiety or depression:

12–20 weekly sessions is often effective (according to American Psychological Association guidelines)

  • SFBT:
    5–10 sessions on average, sometimes even fewer

These models focus on specific problems, skill-building, and goal-oriented change. They tend to work well when your needs are focused and you’re ready to actively engage in the process.

Long-Term or Open-Ended Therapy

If you’re exploring patterns from childhood, attachment wounds, or seeking deep personal transformation, longer-term therapy may be more helpful.

  • Many people in depth-oriented therapy attend for 6 months to several years
  • A common average for open-ended therapy is 1–2 years
  • Some clients choose to continue even after they’re “feeling better” to support long-term growth

Think of it less like fixing a broken pipe and more like nurturing a garden, it takes time, consistency, and care.

What the Data Says

A major study from the American Psychological Association found:

  • 50% of clients feel noticeably better within 8 sessions
  • 75% see significant improvement by session 26
  • People dealing with more complex or chronic issues often need longer treatment

So while some people truly benefit from 6–10 sessions, others need 40, 60, or more, especially if healing involves trauma, neurodivergence, or relational wounds.

Important Note:

More sessions ≠ failure.

Needing longer-term therapy doesn’t mean you’re “worse” or “not progressing.”

It just means your healing is layered, and that’s normal. Real change often takes time, and that time is an investment in your future self.

Think of It Like Personal Training

Therapy is a bit like working with a trainer at the gym:

  • Some people come in with a specific short-term goal (like running a 5k)
  • Others want ongoing support to stay strong, process life, and keep growing

Neither is “better”, they’re just different kinds of growth. The key is finding what you need right now, and trusting that the process can evolve.

How Do You Know When You’re Done with Therapy?

This is such an important question ,because therapy isn’t meant to last forever. It’s meant to serve you.

But here’s the catch:
You don’t always get a clear finish line.
It’s not like school, where someone hands you a certificate and says, “You’re cured!”

Instead, knowing when you’re “done” often feels like a quiet shift inside:

Signs You May Be Ready to Pause or End Therapy:

  • You’re coping well, even when life gets challenging
  • You’ve developed the tools to manage your emotions
  • You notice old patterns but can interrupt them more easily
  • Your therapist feels more like a supportive presence than a lifeline
  • You feel a growing sense of trust in yourself

Some people describe it as:
“I don’t need to come every week anymore… but I know I can if I want to.”

That’s a beautiful place to be.

But You Can Always Come Back

Here’s the truth:
Therapy doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.
You can “graduate” and still return for check-ins, tune-ups, or support during transitions.

Life changes. Grief happens. Parenting evolves. Relationships shift.
You might finish therapy at 28 and come back at 33 when life throws you a curveball.

That doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you’re human, and smart enough to reach for support when needed.

Therapy Isn’t Just for “Fixing”

Sometimes, therapy is less about “solving a problem” and more about:

  • Expanding self-awareness
  • Exploring creativity or purpose
  • Deepening your relationships
  • Staying mentally well during big life transitions

In those cases, people choose to stay in therapy not out of need, but out of desire. That’s equally valid.

Talk About It with Your Therapist

If you’re wondering whether it’s time to wrap up therapy, talk about it!
A good therapist welcomes that conversation.

Together, you can:

  • Review your goals
  • Reflect on progress
  • Consider a transition plan (ex: biweekly → monthly → as-needed)

The goal isn’t to keep you in therapy forever. It’s to support you until you feel ready to go, stronger, wiser, and more grounded.

How Often Should You Go to Therapy?

A question many people ask when they first start therapy is:

“How often do I need to come to see results?”

And honestly, the answer depends on you, your goals, and the kind of support you need right now.

Weekly Therapy: The Gold Standard

For most people, especially at the beginning, weekly sessions are ideal.

Why?
Because:

  • They create momentum
  • You stay connected to your process
  • There’s less “resetting” between sessions
  • You can build trust faster with your therapist

It’s kind of like learning a new language: consistency matters more than intensity. Once a week gives your brain and heart a steady rhythm to grow and heal.

Biweekly or Monthly Sessions

As you progress, some people move to every other week or even monthly check-ins.

This can work well if:

  • You’ve reached some of your goals
  • You’re mostly managing well
  • You’re using therapy for maintenance or reflection

Think of it like going from physical therapy every week to just stretching and checking in when needed.

Crisis or High-Need Situations

In more acute phases, like during a breakup, trauma, or a mental health crisis, some people benefit from twice-a-week therapy, even short-term.

There’s no shame in that.

Healing is not linear.

And sometimes, more support equals more safety and stability.

What About Short-Term Therapy?

Some people only need therapy for a specific issue, like preparing for a big life decision, managing exam stress, or learning communication tools in a relationship.

In those cases, therapy might last just 4 to 12 sessions, but still make a huge impact.

The Key: Talk About Frequency with Your Therapist

The most important thing isn’t sticking to a rule, it’s checking in with your therapist about what feels helpful.

Together, you can adjust your schedule based on:

  • Progress
  • Life stress
  • Finances
  • Goals

Therapy should support your life, not overwhelm it.

Is the Therapy Style You’re in Actually Good for ADHD?

Here’s something most people don’t realize until they’ve been in therapy for a while:

Not all therapy styles are equally effective for ADHD.

That’s right.

Just like you wouldn’t use the same tools to fix a bicycle and an airplane, you shouldn’t expect every therapist, or every approach, to work well for a neurodivergent brain.

Why Some Therapy Feels “Off” for ADHD Brains

Many of my ADHD clients tell me:

“I felt like my old therapist didn’t get it… I’d leave sessions more confused or ashamed.”

That’s usually because:

  • The therapist was too unstructured (and so was the session)
  • Or too rigid, with no room for flexibility
  • Or they focused only on symptoms (like anxiety), without addressing the underlying ADHD
  • Or they didn’t understand the lived experience of ADHD at all

This mismatch can make you feel like you’re the problem, when really, it’s just not the right fit.

What Works Better for ADHD?

If you have ADHD, you may benefit more from approaches that are:

  • Structured but flexible
  • Focused on practical tools and daily routines
  • Compassionate, strength-based, and collaborative
  • Open to creativity and nonlinear thinking
  • Rooted in understanding neurodiversity

Modalities like:

  • CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) — with ADHD-specific tweaks
  • Coaching approaches for executive function support
  • ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) — especially for emotional regulation
  • Psychoeducation — understanding how your brain works
  • And sometimes a mix of therapy and coaching, depending on your needs

How to Know If Your Therapy Is Helping

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel understood here?
  • Do I leave sessions with clarity, not confusion?
  • Am I learning tools that actually work for my daily life?
  • Does my therapist get ADHD (not just textbook stuff)?
  • Are we moving forward, or just circling the same stuff?

If most answers are “no,” it might be time to explore a new style—or even a new provider.

You Deserve ADHD-Aware Support

You are not too much. You are not lazy.

You just need support that’s built for how your brain works, not how the world expects it to.

And yes, that support exists. And it works.

How Many Therapy Sessions Will You Need?

A common question people ask when starting therapy is:

“How many sessions will I need?”

And the honest answer is: It depends.

But that’s not a cop-out—it’s the truth rooted in your goals, life, and brain.

Factors That Affect the Number of Sessions

Here are some things that shape how long therapy might take for ADHD:

  1. Your goals:
    • Are you looking for crisis support or long-term change?
    • Do you want help with one situation or a lifelong pattern?
  2. The severity of challenges:
    • Mild executive function struggles may resolve faster.
    • Deep-rooted emotional patterns or trauma take more time.
  3. Frequency of sessions:
    • Weekly sessions often lead to faster progress than monthly ones.
    • Inconsistent attendance can slow things down.
  4. Fit with your therapist:
    • A strong match accelerates healing.
    • Mismatch can drag things out, or stall completely.
  5. Your life outside of therapy:
    • Are you supported by people who understand you?
    • Do you have time and energy to apply what you’re learning?

Some Realistic Averages

  • Short-term therapy:

Great for focused goals like:

    • Building a daily routine
    • Managing a specific situation (e.g., job change, relationship stress)
    • Getting ADHD clarity and strategies
  • Medium-term therapy:

Helpful for:

    • Emotional regulation
    • Relationship patterns
    • Burnout recovery
    • Developing new habits
  • Long-term therapy:

Often best for:

    • Deep self-worth issues
    • Healing past trauma
    • Transforming your identity as a neurodivergent person

Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. What matters is that it’s working for you.

ADHD Time: Nonlinear Progress Is Normal

Progress in ADHD therapy isn’t always a straight line.

Sometimes it looks like:

“3 steps forward, 2 steps sideways, a leap, then a nap.”

That’s okay.

You might make massive progress in a few months… or find that you benefit from ongoing support long-term. Both are valid.

How to Know When You’re “Done” (or Ready for a Break)

Ask yourself:

  • Am I able to handle things I couldn’t before?
  • Do I have tools that work—even when things get hard?
  • Do I feel more like myself?

If yes, that’s a good sign you’re ready to pause, shift, or graduate.

If no, don’t worry. That just means you’re still on the path, and that’s okay.

You Deserve Support That Grows with You

Therapy is not about being “fixed.”

It’s about feeling seen, resourced, and empowered to be who you are.

And however, many sessions that takes?

That’s the right number for you.

Still unsure how many therapy sessions you need?

Reach out for a free initial consultation where we’ll assess your unique situation and help map out a personalized plan.

📞 Book Your Free Consultation

 

What is Therapy Used For?
By admin 0 Comments Blog, adhd, psychotherapy, Psychotherapy near me, Psychotherapy online, Psychotherapy techniques, Psychotherapy treatment, Psychotherapy vs counseling, Types of psychotherapy

What is Therapy Used For?

What is Therapy Used For?

(And Why It Might Be Exactly What You Need Right Now)

I still remember the look on my client’s face when they asked, half embarrassed, half confused, “Wait… therapy isn’t just for, like, really serious mental illness, right?”

Nope. Not at all. That’s probably one of the biggest myths I run into as a coach.

So, let’s clear this up right away: therapy is not just for crisis mode. Therapy is used for understanding yourself, building healthier relationships, healing from trauma, managing emotions, reducing anxiety, overcoming depression, navigating big life changes, and yes, just having a safe space to talk it out.

Actually, scratch that. Therapy is used for way more than just “feeling better.”

Therapy can reshape your entire life.

And in a place like California, where life moves fast, expectations are high, and burnout is a quiet epidemic. therapy isn’t just helpful, it’s essential.

Now, if you’ve landed on this article wondering what therapy is really for, or whether it’s “worth it,” or if it can help someone like you, this is your space. No jargon. No judgment. Just real talk from someone who’s seen therapy change lives.

Let’s dive in.

What Is Therapy Really Used For?

 Real, Life Reasons People Start Therapy (That Have Nothing to Do with “Being Broken”)

Let’s ditch the outdated image of therapy where you lie on a couch, spill your darkest secrets, and wait for someone to nod silently and scribble in a notebook.

That’s not therapy. Or at least, not the kind that actually helps.

Here’s the truth: most people start therapy not because they’re “crazy” or “broken,” but because they’re human. And life is complicated.

Here are just some of the real reasons people seek therapy:

  • To Manage Stress and Anxiety

California hustle culture can chew you up and spit you out. Between work deadlines, traffic, social pressure, and constant comparison, it’s no wonder anxiety is one of the top reasons people start therapy. Therapy helps you:

  • Recognize triggers
  • Learn grounding and coping strategies
  • Reframe negative thought patterns
  • Actually, breathe again (without your chest feeling tight)
  • To Heal from Past Trauma

You don’t have to “look traumatized” to carry trauma. Many clients come in years after an event, car accident, divorce, bullying, emotional neglect, and finally realize they’ve never processed it. Therapy offers:

  • A safe space to process
  • Trauma, informed care
  • Rebuilding trust in yourself and others
  • To Build Better Relationships

From couples on the verge of divorce to young adults navigating family tension, therapy isn’t just personal, it’s relational. You can use it to:

  • Improve communication
  • Set boundaries
  • Heal attachment wounds
  • Learn to love without losing yourself
  • To Find Direction in Life

Sometimes people say, “I don’t even know what’s wrong. I just feel stuck.” That’s valid. Therapy can help you:

  • Clarify your values
  • Explore your identity
  • Set meaningful goals
  • Get unstuck
  • To Manage ADHD or Neurodivergence

Therapy (especially combined with coaching) is incredibly useful for adults with ADHD, autism, or learning differences. It’s not just about managing symptoms, it’s about understanding how your brain actually works, and building systems that honor that.

The bottom line?

Therapy is for clarity, healing, confidence, boundaries, peace, purpose, and real growth, not just for “fixing” something.

What Kinds of Therapy Are There—And How Do You Know Which One Fits?

If you’ve ever Googled “types of therapy,” you probably ended up drowning in acronyms, CBT, DBT, ACT, EMDR, IFS… and maybe closed the tab faster than you opened it.

But here’s a secret most therapists won’t tell you upfront:

You don’t have to know the method. You just have to know what you need.

So let’s break it down, human style. Here are some of the most common therapy approaches and what they’re actually like to experience:

  • CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Best for: Anxiety, depression, ADHD, overthinking, self-criticism

CBT helps you challenge unhelpful thoughts and replace them with more balanced ones. It’s practical and structured. You might track your thoughts, identify distortions, and practice new habits.

It’s like mental fitness training—with worksheets.

  • EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

Best for: Trauma, PTSD, phobias

EMDR sounds a little sci-fi (following lights with your eyes while recalling hard memories?), but it’s backed by tons of research. It helps your brain reprocess trauma so it stops hijacking your nervous system.

It’s like finally taking the stuck file out of your brain’s “crash folder.”

  • IFS – Internal Family Systems

Best for: Emotional overwhelm, inner conflict, trauma, identity work

IFS is about recognizing that we all have “parts”, a perfectionist part, a scared inner child, an angry protector. Therapy becomes a process of understanding and integrating those parts instead of fighting them.

It’s like going from an internal war to an internal peace summit.

  • Psychodynamic or Depth Therapy

Best for: Exploring patterns, attachment wounds, big life questions

This is the “talk therapy” most people imagine. It’s slower, deep, and focused on connecting your present struggles to your past experiences.

It’s like emotional archaeology, digging to heal.

  • ADHD-Focused Therapy & Coaching

Best for: Executive dysfunction, impulsivity, shame, productivity struggles

This is a blend of therapy and life coaching, designed for brains that don’t do well with rigid rules. It’s collaborative, compassionate, and all about working with your brain, not against it.

It’s like finally getting a user manual for how your brain works.

 So… Which One Is Best for You?

That depends. Most good therapists use a blend of these styles depending on what you need. The best fit comes from:

  • Feeling safe and understood by your therapist
  • Working on goals that matter to you
  • Seeing small but real progress over time

If a therapist only sticks to one rigid method—or makes you feel judged—it might not be the right match. And that’s okay. Therapy is not one-size-fits-all.

How Do You Actually Start Therapy (Even If You’re Not Sure)?

Let’s be honest, starting therapy can feel overwhelming.

Maybe you’re not sure if your problems are “bad enough.”

Maybe you’ve had a bad experience before.

Or maybe you just don’t know what to say when you get there.

That’s all normal. Seriously.

Here’s what we tell new clients every day:

You don’t have to have the perfect words. You just have to show up.

A good therapist will help you figure things out as you go. You don’t need a diagnosis or a ten, point plan. You don’t even need to know what kind of therapy you need. You just need to be willing to try.

 If You’re Looking for ADHD-Friendly Therapy or Coaching in California…

That’s what we specialize in.

At Heal Thrive, we offer ADHD-informed therapy, executive function coaching, and trauma-aware support, all built for neurodivergent brains.

Whether you’re dealing with overwhelm, stuckness, motivation crashes, or just want to understand your brain better… we’re here to help.

  • Licensed therapists who get how ADHD shows up
  • Judgment, free, flexible sessions, online across California
  • Focused on progress, not perfection

We’d be honored to support you.

You can [book a free consultation] (https://heal,thrive.com/contact) or just shoot us a message, we’ll walk you through it, step by step.

 

Why Therapy Matters: Understanding the ADHD Brain
By admin 0 Comments Blog, adhd, adhd coach, adhd coach near me, adhd coach service, adhd coaching

What kind of therapist is best for ADHD?

What kind of therapist is best for ADHD?

You know, if you’d asked me five years ago what kind of therapist someone with ADHD should work with, I probably would’ve rattled off a list CBT, DBT, maybe throw in a mindfulness-based approach for good measure and called it a day.

But now? After coaching hundreds of clients across California and beyond (from high-achieving professionals in Silicon Valley to overwhelmed parents in the suburbs of LA), I can tell you it’s not that simple.

Therapy for ADHD isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about finding the right person, with the right lens, who can help you, or your child, navigate the real-world challenges of attention, emotion, and executive function.

And that’s what we’re diving into today. This isn’t just another dry “types of therapy for ADHD” article. I’m bringing you behind the scenes. We’ll talk about:

  • What really makes a therapist effective for ADHD (spoiler: it’s not just credentials)
  • Real client stories that reveal why some therapies work better than others
  • Step-by-step ways to figure out what YOU or your loved one needs
  • And the kinds of red flags I always tell my clients to look out for

Let’s unpack this together, because when therapy is the right fit, ADHD becomes a whole lot more manageable. Maybe even empowering.

Why Therapy Matters: Understanding the ADHD Brain

Let’s start with a question I often ask my clients:
“What’s the real problem you’re trying to solve?”

If you or your child has ADHD, it might seem obvious, “I can’t focus.”
But ADHD is rarely just about attention.

Here’s what I’ve seen in my practice over and over again:

  • A brilliant 10-year-old who melts down every time it’s time for homework not because he’s lazy, but because switching tasks feels like climbing a mountain.
  • A 35-year-old woman in a high-powered tech job who forgets meetings, zones out in conversations, and secretly fears she’s falling apart even though she’s been praised for being “creative” and “driven.”
  • A college student who can write genius-level essays, but only at 2 a.m. the night before they’re due, riding on anxiety and caffeine.

These are executive function challenges.


And therapy, when done right, doesn’t just slap on a coping skill or teach you to “just try harder.” It gets into the roots:

  • Emotional regulation
  • Impulse control
  • Time management
  • Self-worth and motivation
  • Shame, guilt, and fear of failure

ADHD isn’t a character flaw.
But without the right support, people start believing it is.

That’s why therapy matters. And that’s why choosing the right kind of therapist matters even more.

Therapy Types That Actually Work for ADHD

Not all therapy is created equal especially when it comes to ADHD.

Here’s what I’ve seen in real life:

A client tells me, “I tried therapy before, but it didn’t help.”

I always ask, “What kind of therapy?”

Often, it was talking therapy with someone who didn’t understand ADHD.

They talked about childhood, emotions, maybe even trauma. All-important but if your brain can’t organize your day, manage time, or regulate emotions, that kind of therapy may leave you feeling seen… but still stuck.

So, let’s break down what does help:

  1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – With an ADHD Twist

CBT helps you identify unhelpful thought patterns and replace them.

But for ADHD? It needs to go beyond just thoughts it must focus on skills.

Time-blindness, procrastination, perfectionism these aren’t just habits; they’re neurological patterns that need new strategies.

  1. ADHD Coaching

Not technically therapy, but powerful.

ADHD coaches work on practical systems: planners, task-breaking, routines.

Best for high-functioning adults or teens who need tools, not talk.

  1. Executive Function Therapy

This overlaps with coaching and CBT. It targets:

  • Task initiation
  • Working memory
  • Emotional regulation
    Often delivered by therapists trained in ADHD or neuropsychology.

  1. Family-Based Therapy (for kids and teens)

Let’s be real if your child has ADHD, it affects the whole family system.

This approach involves parents too, helping them learn how to respond instead of react, and how to build supportive structure at home.

  1. Trauma-Informed Therapy

Why this matters: Many ADHDers experience chronic rejection, failure, or misunderstanding. That creates trauma.

A trauma-informed therapist sees beneath the behavior to the pain that fuels it.

The Best Therapy Style Is… the One That Fits You

Sometimes it’s one of these.
Often, it’s a blend customized to how your brain works, your life flows, and your goals grow.

What to Look for in a Therapist (And Red Flags to Avoid)

Finding the right therapist for ADHD isn’t just about availability it’s about fit.

I’ve worked with many clients who came to me after wasting time (and money) on therapists who didn’t get it. So let me help you spot the good ones and dodge the wrong ones.

Green Flags (Good Signs)

Here’s what to look for when searching for a therapist:

  • They understand ADHD as a neurodevelopmental condition, not just a behavioral problem.
  • They talk about executive function, emotional regulation, and nervous system patterns.
  • They offer concrete tools and strategies not just “talk it out”.
  • They listen without judgment when you say things like “I forgot again” or “I didn’t do the thing.”
  • They personalize the process not one-size-fits-all advice.
Red Flags (Warning Signs)

Run the other way if you hear:

  • “ADHD isn’t real.”
  • “You just need to try harder.”
  • “Let’s talk about your mother again…” (every single session)
  • “Why don’t you just use a planner?”
  • They blame you for inconsistency rather than helping you build systems.

Quick Tip:

Before you commit, ask your therapist:
“What’s your experience working with ADHD clients?”
Their answer tells you everything.

Your Next Steps – How to Find a Therapist Who Gets ADHD

Now that you know what to look for (and what to avoid), let’s make it actionable.

Here’s how to take that next step without the overwhelm.

  1. Start With ADHD-Specific Directories

Instead of Google, use platforms that focus on ADHD:

  • ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO) – for ADHD-trained coaches.
  • CHADD Professional Directory – verified ADHD professionals.
  • Psychology Today – search filters for ADHD & therapy styles.
  • ADDitude’s Directory – curated by a trusted ADHD resource.
  1. Ask Smart Questions

During a free consult, ask:

  • “What’s your approach to ADHD?”
  • “How do you support clients who struggle with follow-through?”
  • “Do you incorporate tools or just talk therapy?”

Trust your gut if something feels off, it probably is.

  1. Try One Session

One session can teach you a lot. Notice:

  • Do they respect your brain differences?
  • Are they helping you create tools or making you feel broken?

Good therapy should feel like partnership, not pressure.

Final Thoughts

You deserve support from someone who understands how your brain works not someone who tries to “fix” it.

If you’ve been burned before, I see you.

But don’t give up. The right therapist is out there and they can make a real difference.

Ready to Start? Let’s Talk.

If you’re in California and looking for a therapist who gets ADHD, you’re in the right place.
Schedule a free call today and let’s talk about what support could look like for you.

📅 Book a Consult →

What is the Best Therapy for ADHD?
By admin 0 Comments Blog, adhd, adhd adult, adhd coach, adhd coach near me, adhd coach service, adhd coaching

What is the Best Therapy for ADHD? (Spoiler: It’s Complicated)

What is the Best Therapy for ADHD? (Spoiler: It’s Complicated)

Okay, let’s be real here. If you’ve found yourself googling “best therapy for ADHD” at some ungodly hour with about fifteen tabs open, your brain going a mile a minute, and you’re feeling completely overwhelmed by all the options out there… yeah, I’ve been there. And so have pretty much all of my clients.

I’m an ADHD coach, and I’ve been working with people and families dealing with ADHD for years now. And here’s the thing that might surprise you – there’s no magic bullet. No perfect therapy that works for everyone. I know, I know, that’s probably not what you wanted to hear when you clicked on this post.

But here’s what I can tell you: there ARE therapies that work really, really well. The trick is figuring out which one clicks with how YOUR brain works. Because ADHD is a complex neurological condition that shows up differently in different people, and what helps one person might not do much for another.

Take two of my clients, for example. Jenna’s a college student who came to me because she couldn’t focus on anything for more than five minutes and was constantly forgetting assignments. We did some CBT work together, and it was like a lightbulb went off. She learned to catch those negative thought spirals and actually developed some systems that worked with her brain instead of against it.

Then there’s Mike. He’s a dad with ADHD, and his biggest struggles were more about managing his emotions and not losing his temper with his kids when things got chaotic at home. For him, we focused more on emotional regulation techniques and family dynamics. Completely different approach, but it worked for him.

So in this post, I’m going to walk you through all the different therapy options that actually have research backing them up. I’ll tell you what symptoms each one tends to help with, share some real stories from people I’ve worked with (names changed, obviously), and hopefully help you figure out what might be worth trying for you or your kid.

Because here’s the thing – knowledge really is power when it comes to ADHD. The more you understand what’s out there, the better equipped you’ll be to advocate for yourself and find something that actually makes a difference in your daily life

Let’s Talk About What ADHD Actually Is (And Why Treatment Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All)

Before we dive into all the therapy options, I think it’s important to get on the same page about what we’re dealing with here. ADHD isn’t just “can’t sit still” or “gets distracted easily.” It’s this complex neurological thing that affects how your brain processes information, manages attention, and controls impulses.

And here’s where it gets tricky – ADHD looks different in pretty much everyone who has it. Some people are the classic hyperactive type – they’re bouncing off the walls, interrupting conversations, always fidgeting with something. Others are more the inattentive type – they’re daydreaming, losing things constantly, starting projects but never finishing them. And then you’ve got people who are a mix of both.

But it gets even more complicated than that. ADHD symptoms can change depending on what’s going on in your life. Stress makes everything worse. Not getting enough sleep? Forget about it. Going through a major life change? Your coping strategies might completely fall apart.

I had one client – let’s call her Sarah – who was doing great with her ADHD management for months. She had her systems down, was staying on top of work, feeling pretty good about things. Then she got divorced, and suddenly all her strategies stopped working. We had to completely rebuild her approach because her life circumstances had changed so dramatically.

This is why I always tell people that finding the right therapy for ADHD isn’t a one-and-done thing. It’s more like… okay, this is going to sound cheesy, but it’s like tending a garden. You plant some seeds, see what grows, adjust based on the seasons, maybe try some new varieties. It’s an ongoing process.

The Heavy Hitters: Therapies That Actually Have Science Behind Them

Alright, let’s get into the good stuff. These are the approaches that have been studied extensively and consistently show real results for people with ADHD.

Behavioral Therapy: The Foundation (Especially for Kids)

If you’ve got a kid with ADHD, behavioral therapy is probably going to be one of the first things that gets recommended. And honestly? There’s a good reason for that. This approach is all about changing specific behaviors through consistent feedback and rewards.

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking – “Great, another reward chart.” But it’s actually way more sophisticated than that. Good behavioral therapy teaches both kids and parents how to create structure that works, how to give feedback that actually motivates change, and how to build habits that stick.

I worked with this family – the Johnsons – where their eight-year-old, Emma, was having meltdowns every single morning trying to get ready for school. Mom was stressed, Emma was stressed, everyone was starting the day feeling terrible. Through behavioral therapy, we created this visual routine chart that broke down the morning into tiny, manageable steps. But the real magic happened when we taught Mom how to give Emma specific, positive feedback for each step she completed.

Within about three weeks, mornings went from total chaos to… well, not perfect, but manageable. Emma felt proud of herself, Mom wasn’t starting her day feeling like a failure, and the whole family dynamic shifted.

The research on this stuff is solid. Studies in journals like the Journal of Family Nursing show that when behavioral therapy is started early and done consistently, it can have lasting effects. But here’s the key – it has to be consistent. You can’t do it for a few weeks and then give up when life gets busy.

Behavioral Parent Training is a huge part of this too. Parents learn specific techniques for managing challenging behaviors, creating structure at home, and supporting their kid’s emotional regulation. And honestly, this often ends up helping the whole family, not just the kid with ADHD.

CBT for ADHD: Rewiring the Mental Patterns

For teenagers and adults (who can find additional resources at ADDA), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is often where we see the biggest breakthroughs. CBT for ADHD is all about identifying those unhelpful thought patterns that keep you stuck and learning practical strategies for managing focus, planning, and emotions.

Here’s what I love about CBT – it addresses not just the ADHD symptoms themselves, but all the secondary stuff that builds up over years of struggling. The low self-esteem, the anxiety about forgetting things, the depression that can come from feeling like you’re constantly failing at “simple” tasks.

I had this client, Sarah (different Sarah from before), who was a marketing professional in her late twenties. She came to me feeling completely overwhelmed and convinced she was just lazy and incompetent. She was missing deadlines, forgetting meetings, and had this constant internal dialogue of “Why can’t I just get it together like everyone else?”

Through CBT, we started unpacking those thoughts. Turns out, a lot of her procrastination wasn’t about laziness at all – it was about perfectionism and fear of failure. She’d rather not start something than risk doing it poorly. Once we identified that pattern, we could work on breaking big projects into smaller pieces, setting realistic deadlines, and celebrating progress instead of waiting for perfection.

The transformation was pretty amazing. Within about six months, she’d gotten a promotion at work. But more importantly, she’d developed a much healthier relationship with herself and her ADHD.

The research on CBT for ADHD is really strong. Studies by researchers like Newark and Stieglitz show significant improvements in executive functioning – things like time management, task initiation, and dealing with frustration. And it tends to work even better when it’s combined with other approaches like coaching or medication.

ADHD Coaching: The Practical Stuff That Actually Matters

Now, this is where I get excited because coaching is what I do, and I’ve seen it change people’s lives. ADHD coaching is different from traditional therapy because we’re not really digging into your childhood or processing trauma (though that stuff can be important too). We’re focused on the here and now – what systems do you need to function better in your daily life?

Coaching is all about working WITH your ADHD brain instead of against it. We figure out your natural strengths and build systems that leverage those strengths rather than trying to force you into neurotypical productivity methods.

I had this client, Marcus, who’s a software developer. He was constantly missing deadlines and felt like he was always behind on projects. Traditional time management advice made him feel worse because it was all about steady, consistent effort throughout the day. But Marcus’s brain doesn’t work that way – he works best in intense, focused bursts.

So we created what we called a “sprint and recovery” system. He’d work intensely for 90-minute blocks, then take a 30-minute break to move around or do something completely different. We set up visual project tracking so he could see his progress, and we built in buffer time for the inevitable hyperfocus sessions where he’d work for six hours straight and forget to eat.

The difference was night and day. Not only did he start meeting deadlines consistently, but his work quality improved because he was working with his brain’s natural patterns instead of fighting them.

At our practice, Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy and Coaching, we use a strength-based, neuroscience-informed approach to coaching. We understand that ADHD brains are wired differently, and we use that knowledge to create strategies that actually work in real life.

Coaching often works really well combined with other approaches. Maybe you’re doing CBT to work on thought patterns while also doing coaching to build practical systems. Or you might be on medication that helps with focus while using coaching to develop organizational skills.

Mindfulness and DBT: When Emotions Feel Out of Control

Okay, I’ll be honest – when I first heard about using mindfulness for ADHD, I was skeptical. I mean, telling someone with ADHD to sit still and focus on their breath? That sounds like torture, right?

But it turns out, when mindfulness is adapted for ADHD brains, it can be incredibly helpful. We’re not talking about traditional meditation where you sit cross-legged for an hour. We’re talking about practical mindfulness techniques that help with attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation.

The research on mindfulness is actually pretty cool. Regular mindfulness practice literally changes how attention networks function in the brain. It can help reduce stress, which we know makes ADHD symptoms worse. And it builds self-awareness, which is crucial for managing ADHD effectively.

For people with ADHD, we might use walking meditation, body-based awareness practices, or mindfulness activities that incorporate movement. The key is finding approaches that work with ADHD symptoms rather than against them.

DBT – Dialectical Behavior Therapy – has also been adapted for ADHD, especially for people who struggle with intense emotions. DBT teaches specific skills for managing overwhelming feelings, improving relationships, and tolerating distress.

I worked with a teenager, Alex, who was having explosive emotional outbursts at home and school. Traditional behavior management wasn’t working because the emotions were just too intense. Through DBT-informed techniques, Alex learned to recognize emotional triggers early, use grounding techniques when things got overwhelming, and communicate needs more effectively.

The improvement in family relationships was dramatic. Alex’s parents went from walking on eggshells to actually enjoying spending time together. And Alex’s performance at school improved because emotional meltdowns weren’t derailing the whole day anymore.

Neurofeedback: Training Your Brain Directly

For families who want to avoid medication or haven’t had success with traditional approaches, neurofeedback is an interesting option. Basically, you’re training your brain to produce more optimal brainwave patterns through real-time feedback.

The research on neurofeedback for ADHD is promising. Studies by researchers like Baumeister and Zuberer have shown improvements in attention and impulse control. It’s not a magic cure, but for some people, it can be a helpful piece of the puzzle.

The process involves putting sensors on your scalp to monitor brainwave activity, then playing computer games or watching videos that respond to your brain patterns. When your brain produces the desired patterns, you get positive feedback in the game.

What I like about neurofeedback is that it gives people a sense of agency in their treatment. Instead of being passive recipients of therapy, they’re actively learning to influence their brain function.

But I’ll be real with you – neurofeedback requires a significant time commitment, and it can be expensive. It works best as part of a comprehensive approach rather than as a standalone treatment.

The Supporting Cast: Other Approaches That Can Make a Difference

Social Skills Training: Because Relationships Matter

A lot of people with ADHD struggle with social interactions. Maybe they interrupt conversations because they’re impulsive, or they miss social cues because they’re distracted, or they have trouble maintaining friendships because they forget to follow up with people.

Social skills training provides structured practice with things like turn-taking in conversations, reading nonverbal cues, and managing conflict. For kids and teenagers especially, this can make a huge difference in their confidence and relationships.

I’ve seen kids go from being isolated and lonely to having genuine friendships after working on social skills. It’s not about changing who they are – it’s about giving them tools to navigate social situations more successfully.

Occupational Therapy: The Sensory Piece

Many people with ADHD also have sensory processing differences. Maybe they’re hypersensitive to certain textures or sounds, or maybe they need more sensory input to feel regulated. Occupational therapy can address these issues and provide tools for managing sensory challenges.

OT might involve sensory integration techniques, fine motor skill development, or environmental modifications that support focus and regulation. For kids, this might mean sensory breaks during the school day or special seating that allows for movement.

Play Therapy: For the Little Ones

Young kids often do better with play therapy than traditional talk therapy. Through play, they can process emotions, practice social skills, and develop coping strategies in a way that feels natural and fun.

Play therapy can be especially effective when combined with parent training, so there’s consistency between what’s happening in therapy and what’s happening at home.

What We Do at Heal and Thrive: A Personalized Approach

At Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy and Coaching, we don’t believe in cookie-cutter treatment plans. ADHD affects everyone differently, so treatment needs to be individualized based on your specific challenges, strengths, and goals.

We start with a comprehensive assessment to understand not just your ADHD symptoms, but your whole life context. What are your goals? What’s your environment like? What support systems do you have? What have you tried before, and how did it work?

Then we work together to create a treatment plan that might include several different approaches. Maybe we start with CBT to address some negative thought patterns, add in some coaching to build practical systems, and incorporate mindfulness techniques for emotional regulation.

Our approach is collaborative. You’re not a passive recipient of treatment – you’re an active partner in figuring out what works for you. We adjust and modify as we go based on what’s helping and what isn’t.

We also take a whole-family approach when appropriate. ADHD doesn’t just affect the person who has it – it affects the whole family system. Sometimes the most effective intervention is helping family members understand ADHD better and learn how to support each other.

When Things Don’t Go According to Plan (Because They Usually Don’t)

Let’s be honest – ADHD treatment isn’t a straight line from problem to solution. There are going to be setbacks, frustrations, and times when you feel like nothing is working.

When Progress Feels Slow

One of the most common things I hear is “I’ve been doing this for months, and I don’t feel like anything is changing.” I get it. When you’re struggling with ADHD symptoms every day, you want relief NOW.

But here’s the thing – ADHD treatment is often about building new neural pathways and habits, which takes time. The changes might be subtle at first. Maybe you’re still forgetting appointments, but you’re remembering to write them down more often. Maybe you’re still procrastinating on big projects, but you’re able to start smaller tasks more easily.

These small changes are actually signs that your brain is learning new patterns. They’re worth celebrating, even if they don’t feel dramatic.

If progress really seems stalled, it might be time to reassess. Maybe we need to try a different approach, address other factors that might be interfering (like sleep problems or stress), or adjust medication if that’s part of your treatment plan.

The Medication Question

I know a lot of people have complicated feelings about ADHD medication. Some people worry about side effects, others feel like medication isn’t enough on its own, and some prefer to try non-medication approaches first.

All of these perspectives are valid. There’s no “right” answer about medication – it’s a personal decision that should be made based on your specific situation and in consultation with a healthcare provider who understands ADHD.

What I can tell you is that the most effective ADHD treatment usually involves multiple approaches. Medication can provide a foundation that makes other interventions more effective, but it’s rarely a complete solution on its own. Therapy, coaching, lifestyle changes, and skill-building remain important regardless of whether medication is part of your plan.

Dealing with Setbacks

ADHD symptoms can fluctuate based on stress, life changes, hormonal shifts, and other factors. It’s completely normal to have periods where symptoms feel more challenging, even when you’ve been doing well.

I always prepare my clients for this because setbacks can feel really discouraging if you’re not expecting them. But a setback doesn’t mean your previous progress was meaningless or that treatment isn’t working. It usually means you need to adjust your strategies, increase support, or address new stressors in your life.

Family Dynamics

ADHD affects the whole family, and sometimes family members have different opinions about treatment or struggle to understand and support the person with ADHD. These dynamics can significantly impact treatment success.

Family therapy or family education can be incredibly helpful in these situations. When everyone understands ADHD and learns how to support each other effectively, the whole family benefits.

How Do You Know If It’s Working?

This is such an important question because ADHD symptoms can be subjective, and progress isn’t always obvious or linear.

Look for Functional Improvements

The most meaningful measure of success is how well you’re able to manage daily life. Are you meeting deadlines more consistently? Are your relationships improving? Do you feel less overwhelmed by everyday tasks? Are you feeling better about yourself?

For kids, this might look like better performance at school, improved behavior at home, stronger friendships, or increased independence with daily routines.

Don’t Expect Perfection

The goal isn’t to eliminate all ADHD symptoms – that’s often neither realistic nor necessary. The goal is to reduce symptoms to a level where they don’t significantly interfere with your daily functioning and quality of life.

Consider the Whole Picture

Successful ADHD treatment should improve your overall quality of life. This includes things like stress levels, sleep quality, relationship satisfaction, work or school performance, and general life satisfaction.

Think Long-Term

Good ADHD treatment gives you tools and strategies that you can use throughout your life. It helps you develop self-awareness about your ADHD, learn effective coping strategies, build supportive relationships, and know when and how to seek additional help when needed.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Look, living with ADHD can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to define your limits. Whether you’re dealing with focus issues, struggling with impulsivity, feeling frustrated with approaches that haven’t worked, or supporting someone you love with ADHD, there are effective treatments out there.

The key is finding an approach that’s personalized to your specific needs and based on solid research. At Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy and Coaching, we believe that everyone with ADHD has the potential to thrive – not despite their diagnosis, but because of the unique strengths that often come with ADHD thinking.

With the right support, tools, and strategies – whether that’s CBT, coaching, behavioral therapy, mindfulness training, or a combination of approaches – you can make real progress toward feeling more confident, capable, and in control of your daily life.

If you’re ready to explore what might work for you, we’d love to help. You can contact our ADHD specialists for a free consultation to talk through your options or book a session with one of our therapists or coaches to get started.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Let’s work together to find what works for you.