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In what ways might young children who experience ADHD benefit from the use of Calm Corners?

In what ways might young children who experience ADHD benefit from the use of Calm Corners?

ADHD offers a variety of difficulties for families with young children. These challenges include the need to manage impulsive behaviors and the demand to find strategies to maintain emotional regulation. When our children are experiencing high levels of anxiety, overstimulation, emotional dysregulation, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), etc., an area that is specifically designed for relaxation and stress reduction (calm corner), which is commonly referred to as a calming corner, can be extremely helpful.

The term “Calm Corner” refers to a space designed to promote relaxation and reduce stress or anxiety. Children can learn to manage overwhelming sensory experiences by using a calm corner. The calm corner offers a space to retreat and not be stimulated while experiencing, expressing, or recovering from their emotions. This space is furnished with a range of instruments, such as soft lighting, comfy chairs, and toys that engage the senses, offering opportunities for grounding skills.

This space offers a safe haven to refuge from chaos and overwhelming feelings. If one can concentrate on learning as needed or regulate one’s mood and emotions, it would offer the opportunity to express one’s emotions without being judged by those who may not understand.

Compared to other locations, these areas have an excellent impact on reducing hyperactivity and significantly improving concentration. Children can gain skills in appropriately managing their responses to stress within a controlled environment.

Here is a list of items you may consider adding to your calm corner:

  • Comfortable seat
  • Fidget
  • Coloring book
  • Playdough
  • Sticky Wall Balls
  • Lava lamp
  • Noise-canceling headphones
  • the child’s favorite toy

A great idea is to have your child participate in creating the calm corner. Their participation and buy-in are crucial to this success.

My ADHD Journey and Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

My ADHD Journey and Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

Recently, I had a jam-packed weekend that tested my ADHD knowledge as a coach and parent. We threw a lively family event with over 20 guests without days off. The following day was Mother’s Day, which has been especially hard since my mom passed away 7 years ago. This made the day more emotional, especially since I had to handle a difficult situation with my ADHD-afflicted six-year-old daughter.

As an ADHD dad, I forgot to prepare my wife’s Mother’s Day gift, so at the last minute, I asked my daughter to help me prepare the gift! Since we were celebrating my wife’s side of the family’s Mother’s Day at our house, the guests had started opening the gifts without my daughter being at the table! Missing her mom’s and grandmother’s gift opening caused her a major meltdown. She struggles to manage emotions at her age because her executive function skills are still maturing. She and her family felt emotionally exhausted that day. I was fatigued by the end. Even after a long weekend, I didn’t want to sleep. Commitments and heavy emotions had consumed my weekend, leaving me desperate for personal time. Normally, around 10:30, our Alexa notifies me that it’s time to go to bed. Once I heard Alexa go off, I looked at the watch and continued scrolling like nothing was going on. Around 12:30, I started to notice that I was having a hard time going to bed. I paused, pondered, and I asked myself. What am I doing?!?

Of course, I was struggling with revenge procrastination! Revenge bedtime procrastination is more than just poor sleeping habits. It’s a cry for assistance, reflecting the lack of personal time and mental breaks throughout the day or weekend. Unfortunately, this results in a vicious cycle of sleep deprivation, which affects our assistance and exacerbates ADHD symptoms!

I had to remind myself of the tools and tactics I teach as I stayed up late browsing through my phone. This personal challenge underscored the importance of practicing what we preach. To handle the situation, I used the inventive tools I recommend:

Visual and Auditory Assistant: I utilize my ALEXA to make my environment sleep-friendly. ALEXA sets a reminder every night around 10:30 pm: “Roozbeh, it’s time for bed!” It starts playing relaxing music and, lastly, dims the lights, reminding me that it is time to go to bed!

Guided Nightly Meditations: Some apps, like “Calm,” could offer a variety of guided meditations focused on themes such as releasing the day’s stress, gratitude, or preparing for sleep. These sessions can vary in length to accommodate different schedules, from quick 5-minute relaxations to deeper 30-minute sessions.

Bedtime Stories for Adults: Following the model of apps like Calm, Evening Ease can include bedtime stories designed for adult listeners. These stories, read in soothing voices, can transport the listener away from the day’s stresses and into different worlds, easing them into sleep.

This weekend showed us that while we can’t control our days, we can control our nights. These techniques helped me healthily recover my personal time, reaffirming the value of self-care, especially for those of us with ADHD who are grieving huge losses like a loved one.

No matter what, We can survive

No matter what, We can survive

Recession—what a scary word! I wonder when you hear that you become frightened, fearful, and worried; you wonder what you’re going to do and how you’re going to survive. One of our basic instincts is survival, and a part of our survival in today’s world is being able to provide for ourselves. And recession, or lack of financial security, is the main thing, right? We won’t be able to provide for ourselves the way we need to. The money that you work so hard for does not extend as far as it needs to. So the recession is real, and it can be scary. I will tell you that. However, we are in a unique position to prepare for it. So it’s important to understand what happens to you when your basic survival is in danger. So when we were, you know, cavemen and women and so on, cave people, let’s say, we needed to survive, and we needed to be able to use our resources and manage threats.

So, evolutionary speaking, we develop the ability to feel anxious, nervous, alert, hypervigilant, and ready to act when our survival is in danger, as well as remember the times when we have experienced situations where our survival is in danger. So if in our history we had drought, we would be sensitive when there wasn’t, when we’re seeing a pattern of food scarcity. So biologically speaking, evolutionarily speaking, we have already established defense mechanisms internally that we use to react to the potential danger of not being able to provide for ourselves. And we remember the times when we didn’t have what we needed, whether it was due to a lack of financial stability growing up, whether it was personal or cultural, whether it was historical, whether you grew up in an environment or in a family that struggled to provide or went through the 2008 recession, etc.

So the point is that we have this memory of what that was like. So it’s very natural for you to get that anxiety. But if you were to think of this anxiety as an alarm system, think of it as telling you something. Then you’re able to start to plan ahead and use your rational mind to make changes so that you can protect yourself. So the first and most important strategy is to acknowledge the anxiety as a defense mechanism to assure your survival, rather than a crippling symptom that gets in the way. It’s important to acknowledge the anxiety as a fear based on history, but not as a helplessness that you’re experiencing right now. If you are able to see anxiety as an alarm, then you can be queued in and start to make choices that will protect you from this possible danger, such as recession or not being able to provide for yourself. The money you make is not enough. Oftentimes, when we feel anxiety, which is an autonomic nervous system response, like I said, it’s based on history and your intuition based on your nature. We forget to pay attention to the logic, right? We feel the anxiety, we go into panic, and then we allow the emotions to take over. At that point, we can solve problems. We can come up with solutions. However, if instead we take the anxiety as an alarm, as a, you know, hey, something’s going on, we feel the fear and say to ourselves, It’s okay, I have time, I have resources, I have abilities. This is something I can now change. Then we can calm ourselves and then start to strategize on how to survive the recession that is coming.

Adhd And Shame

ADHD and Shame

Those who are coping with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) sometimes find themselves entangled in a subtle feeling known as shame. Having experience coaching adults and teenagers with ADHD, I have seen firsthand the powerful impact that shame can have on people’s readiness to ask for help and find comfort. Even with their extraordinary skills and attributes, a large number of my clients are caught in the stifling grip of guilt. Their progress is hampered and their potential is limited by this heavy load.

But what seems to be the cause of this pervasive sense of shame, and why does ADHD seem to exacerbate its effects? Attention-Deficiency/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) goes beyond sporadic forgetfulness or short-term distractions. It is a complex interaction of neurobiological components that show up as significant problems with executive function. With ADHD, there can be constant and overwhelming daily difficulties with time management, organization, impulse control, and focus. But these obstacles are usually misinterpreted or ignored by others, which causes a deeply ingrained sense of inferiority and self-doubt to be internalized.

ADHD disappointments can come from a number of places, including social misconceptions, academic expectations, and interpersonal assessments. People with ADHD could feel always at odds with society norms and expectations in a culture that values productivity and efficiency highly. Those with endless potential, intelligence, and inventiveness could be unfairly called lazy, unmotivated, or even stupid. These outside impressions feed a negative cycle of shame that lowers self-esteem and jeopardizes general health when combined with internalized self-criticism.

The fact that mental health is generally disapproved of by society further complicates the picture. Many people with ADHD are afraid of being stigmatized, misinterpreted, or judged, thus they are reluctant to tell anyone about their illness or get help. Reluctance to get help not only maintains feelings of shame and isolation but also poses major barriers to getting the vital services and support networks that people sorely need.

Understanding how deeply shame and ADHD interact, Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy & Coaching works to give people a supportive and safe space to face and get beyond these internalized obstacles. We help our clients reclaim their personal stories, accept themselves for their strengths, and navigate life with fortitude and self-compassion by using individualized coaching, empirically supported methods, and unwavering support.

One of our clients related their personal experience of overcoming shame, emphasizing the enormous influence that compassion and validation can have on life. The people expressed gratitude to have found a coach who not only understood their struggles but also recognized and praised their unique skills and contributions.

We cordially welcome anyone who are tired of carrying the weight of shame and are driven to start a path toward empowerment and self-acceptance to take part in this project at Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy & Coaching Collectively, we will bravely, honestly, and compassionately navigate the complex terrain of ADHD. Since one’s ability to overcome obstacles with poise and tenacity determines their value rather than the obstacles they face.

This Is Hard

This Is Hard!

This is hard. Our life has forever changed. Some of us are feeling traumatized while most of us are experiencing loss. Loss of loved ones, loss of security, loss of freedom, loss of control, loss of normality, loss of productivity, loss of …. This is hard. We are in a unprecedented times. This is a global issue. We know Covid19 is possibly the start of many crisis to come. So, be kind to yourself. Recognize that you are most likely dealing with anxiety, uncertainty, fear, grief and loss, and for some, loss of loved ones and putting yourself on the life of fire against this virus everyday. So, be kind to yourself. Don’t should, could must yourself. Don’t judge yourself. You are doing the best you can. You are surviving a very difficult situation. It is normal to feel scared, discouraged, unsure, helpless and hopeless. Know that you are not alone and there is help. Focus on one moment, one minute, one day at a time. Focus on what is going right, what you have control over, what you are doing to help yourselves and others. You are productive because you are doing what you can to make it. For each of us that is something different. You are doing your best. Continue to be kind compassionate and caring to yourself and others around you. We need each other now more than ever. This is hard but can do this.

Here are some emergency numbers for your information.

24/7 hotlines

National Suicide Prevention Number- 1-800-273-8255

National Domestic Violence Hotline- 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

National Child Abuse Hotline- 1-800-422-4453

LA County Department of Mental Health- 800-854-7771

Orange County Mental Health Services- (877) 7-CRISIS or (877) 727-4747

Food cravings

Do you ever wonder why bread and meat packaging is more plain in compare to candy and chips packaging. Bright colors, strong flavors and sweet taste are biologically attractive. As hunters and gatherers, having limited access to food resources, our brains were wired to notice bright colors, often meaning sweet, tasty, and healthy foods. However, we wouldn’t have access to those sweet fruits as much as we do now. So, we would spend a lot of time walking and trying to find those occasional superfoods such as berries and nuts. 55
The problem is that our brains are responding the same way to the candy wrappers as it did to the raspberries on a shrub along the road. It gets excited and wants to consume it. However, since there is more harmful chemicals, unhealthy levels of sugar and food coloring in the candy, our body will have to process a significant amount of chemicals it is not used to. Hence, inflammation, pain, cravings, and other host of health problems. Having an occasional candy may not be a problem. However, sugar and refined sugar has the ability to create addiction/increased cravings due to overgrowth of bacteria and yeast in the digestive system. Which can lead to Leaky Gut Syndrome, inflammation and other GI problems. 55
So, what shall we do to avoid this painful cycle? First is to make sure our physical needs for food and nutrition are met through a healthy diet. Second, avoid shopping when hungry. Everything will look appetizing. Third, read the labels and ingredients. Ask yourself if you would want to put these chemicals in your or your loved one’s bodies if they were offered to you in a petri dish? If you have a hard time figuring out what you are the ingredients, do you really want to put them in your body? Enjoy wholesome food as we did when we were walking this earth, searching for our food.

Berry Candy

Evaluate facts

Evaluate facts

Pause, Breathe, Reassess 

With all that we are hearing and seeing, it is hard not to think of the worst-case scenario and feel scared. It is completely normal and understandable.

 Pause, brerathe, reassess

  1. Relax your shoulders.
  2. Take a deep breath through your nose, extending your stomach and exhale.
  3. Repeat this a few times until you are calmer.

Now take a moment to evaluate the facts. That means to assess if what you are predicting to happen will happen. Do the facts support your prediction or fears. i.e., I have coronavirus because I have a cough. A while later, after talking to the physician, you may find out you likely have a sinus infection (this happened to someone I know). A lot of times, our fears are worst-case scenarios that have not happened or may not happen. Take a deep breath and focus on the facts. That will help you manage these difficult times.